The HummelBerry Situation
by Pyrofrickenmaniac
Summary: Kurt Hummel is trapped in the body of none other than Rachel Berry, and Rachel in his. But can Rachel use this to her advantage to win back Finn while keeping up Kurt's relationship with Blaine? Body-swap. Klaine and some Finchel. Humor. M for smut/slash
1. Swap

**Sorry if this gets a bit confusing. I'm still using "He" for Kurt who is in Rachel's body and "She" for Rachel who is in Kurt's body.**

**Background: Rachel and Finn are still broken up but Blaine and Kurt are dating.**

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><p><strong>Kurt<strong>

When Kurt Hummel woke up one morning from unsettling dreams, he found himself in an unfamiliar bed.

Actually, it was familiar, this was Rachel Berry's room; the tell tale 3-year-old white princess drawers still covered in unicorn stickers on the far wall. How did he get there?

He laid in the bed, feeling almost unable to get up just yet because of this strong mental fog he was experiencing as if he was hungover. Did he get drunk? No, he and his new boyfriend Blaine watched Moulin Rouge last night in Kurt's dorm at Dalton and then he went to bed, simple. So why was he in Rachel's room of all places?

He finally pushed himself to the side and sat up. Something was off.

He looked down at his lap. What he found most peculiar is that he did have morning wood. He _always_ had morning wood. Then he noticed that he was wearing a floppy and tacky purple nightgown.

Straight brown hair fell past his shoulder. Long straight brown hair.

And finally he saw the boobs.

**Rachel**

Rachel Berry almost fell off her bed when an unfamiliar ring tone of "SexyBack" began playing from her phone.

_Who did I set that to?_ She asked herself, not even remembering where she would have downloaded that song in the first place.

She lunged at the phone and "Text from: Blaine Anderson" flashed on the screen. _Blaine? And this isn't my phone! This isn't my room! This is Kurt's room! Where's Kurt?_

She tried to sit up, but got insanely dizzy and flopped back down on the pillow. Minutes later she tried getting up again and her crotch felt numb and uncomfortable as it grazed against the sheets.

A blanket lay over her lap, but there seemed to be an object on her thigh. She removed the cover and under her alien silk pajamas was a stiff lump protruding from her crotch.

Her hands flew to her chest and her breasts were gone! She stood up and almost fell. She was much taller and her weight was placed differently.

Her jaw dropped and she began freaking out, but was interrupted by the phone ringing again.

"Shut it off," Finn mumbled into his pillow.

Rachel held back a shriek. Finn! How would she tell Finn that she had been turned into a boy? She kept her mouth shut and Finn fell back asleep. She tip-toed around the room, but gave that up soon when she couldn't stand seeing her... her boner wagging back and forth when she stepped.

_Just act like nothing is wrong and you'll be fine_, she said to herself. _You're going to go to school today and finish this dream up and act normal. It's just a dream._

Rachel opened a closet accidentally, then opened another door and found the bathroom. She stepped inside and locked the door. She studied the shower and eventually was able to turn it onto a warm rinse.

_This is just a dream. Act normal and maybe it will end faster._

She stripped off her clothes, trying not to see herself in the mirror, but it was almost impossible. O_h! There's Kurt!_

"Kurt!" she said, whipping around. Kurt did the same in the mirror. She looked behind her to see Kurt, but he was not there.

She leaned against the wall and stared into the mirror. She was good-looking...she was Kurt.

_This is just a dream, this is just a dream,_ she chanted to herself. _Just go with it and it will all be over soon._ She walked Kurt's body into the shower and took a shower as she normally would on any normal day. Then she remembered that she was Kurt, and it was Kurt's penis that was erect in the warm shower. Curiosity got to her though and she studied the protrusion, she refused to touch it just yet, still only seeing it as Kurt's penis.

Wait... this was _Kurt's_ cock? Damn! Boys always joked that they had "nine inches," but she had never heard Kurt ever talk about his own size. _I suppose those who say the least have the most to talk about_, she thought to herself. Kurt was easily 8 inches long and thick as well. How the hell he covered that up in his skinny jeans, she was baffled.

_Hmm, if my subconscious is giving Kurt a big dick in this dream, do I have suppressed feelings for him or something?_ She pondered.

Rachel almost smiled, poking at the erection then becoming bold and stroking the length of the dick. She shivered in ecstasy. This was a realistic dream! She forced herself to stop when she heard the door rattling.

"Kurt, open up," Finn said.

"I'm in the shower!" she called back in Kurt's voice. She automatically covered herself up, only then realizing that she had no breasts to cover anymore, instead she desperately needed two hands to cover up Kurt's huge package.

"But I have to pee!"

"No!"

Finn rolled his eyes and fished out a quarter from the side table. He shook his head thinking that Kurt had already leaned that the simple turn-lock wasn't even worth using as long as he had access to a quarter.

Rachel heard the door open a minute later and she rushed to finish washing her body. "Finn! I said to not come in!"

Finn snorted and took his penis out, aiming at the porcelain. "I'm not coming in to jerk off, I'm just peeing!" he said irritably.

Rachel heard him peeing and resisted the urge to peek at Finn's junk that he was grasping right out in the open- oh shit.

_Stop! Down! No!_ Rachel said to her member that was thickening again as she thought about Finn's dick being held out in the open a mere meter away from her.

"God dammit," she mumbled.

"Kurt, you okay?" Finn asked warily.

"Fucking wonderful," she mumbled. She was stumped on how to get this thing to stop growing! When she was a girl, of course she would get 'lady boners' sometimes, but it could be easily forgotten since there was no evidence. Then again, this was a _dream_ which she seemed to have some control over. Couldn't she just walk out naked and Finn wouldn't care... she could fuck Finn for all a dream was worth!

_God dammit, this was not helping her problem!_

"Kurt, I know you usually take a long time in the shower, but you're going to take all the hot water!"

Suddenly she remembered the "cold shower" thing that guys always referenced! She turned on the cold water and she yelped from the sudden change, but at least it did work almost instantaneously on her problem. She finished her shower, amused that she didn't have to maneuver her breasts to wash under them and she automatically looked for a razor for her legs and armpits, but then remembered that she didn't need to shave!

But for the cleaning of the man parts, she squirted some soap on and let it rinse off. She was scared to touch it again in fear of it revving up.

"Holy shit Kurt, fucking hurry up!"

She gasped. She never heard Finn talk like that! She did as he said though and had barely covered Kurt's body with a plush white towel before Finn dropped his and jumped into the shower.

She blushed from briefly seeing him totally nude. She opened her towel a bit to make sure her penis was under control. She smiled, maybe she was getting the hang of this.

As soon as she stepped out of the bathroom though, she slumped to the ground and held back tears. This was too realistic to be a dream.

She was Kurt.

**Kurt**

Kurt ran to the mirror and Rachel Berry stared back at him. He bit down hard on her fist, but he felt the pain. Trying not to hyperventilate, he ran to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face, but Rachel Berry's remained.

Kurt's hands shook and he tried to sort out his thoughts. _Okay Hummel, I'm sure this can be explained. What do you do right now?_ Might as well start with the obvious: he had to pee. Kurt stood in front of the toilet and fumbled around his crotch area for the slit in the fabric, but remembered that this was girl sleepwear... and that he would have to sit down.

Even though he had already figured out that he was trapped inside a girl's body, it was still an unpleasant shock when he didn't see his cock.

Not wanting to touch "Rachel" down there, he flushed and jumped into the shower, washing himself quickly just to make sure this wasn't some elaborate trick. It was not.

Still in a bit of a daze, he ran back to her room with the intent of putting on whatever she had thrown on her floor. His mind was changed though when all he could find out of her closet were the unicorn sweaters which he loathed, and gray slacks.

He went to Rachel's cell phone and called... himself, once, twice, and a third time with no answer.

He was able to find a green cardigan and blue-striped shirt which he paired with dark wash jeans, but the real test was figuring out which bra to wear. She had a white push-up, a black t-shirt bra, and a champagne colored racer back. After trying the latter two on and seeing that the racer back was actually a sports bra and the black showed through the white places in the shirt, Kurt attempted to adjust Rachel's boobs into the push up. It took him another four tries to get her breasts to sit on top of the padding and not look lopsided, but he finally prevailed.

**Rachel**

"What to wear," she whispered to herself with the thought of Finn still in the back of her mind. She and Finn were still platonic for now since their relationship had fizzled out, but maybe she could use this to her advantage and talk to Finn about her... Rachel.

Rachel sifted through Kurt's never-ending supply of clothes and she tried putting on three different pieces only to find that she couldn't figure out how to put them on.

She finally put on a t-shirt and jeans. Kurt would kill her, but she didn't really care.

"Um, Kurt?"

Rachel turned to see her ex-boyfriend shirtless with a towel around his waist, steam radiating from his semi-sculpted form.

"Yeah?" she squeaked.

"Why aren't you wearing your Dalton uniform?"

Kurt's cell phone rang again. Rachel answered it.

"_Hey Kurt, do you want coffee before school?" _Blaine asked.

"Sure. And, Blaine, you should pick me up because you're my boyfriend. And you should come get me today. Because we should spend more time. Together."

Blaine starting laughing, but replied. "Okay, I'll be there in a half hour."

"Are you sick?" Finn asked, pulling on underwear and jeans before removing the towel. He combed his hand through his hair and glanced in the mirror.

Rachel looked at the phone. 3 missed calls from Rachel... or Kurt. She couldn't call him back right now with Finn in the room so after she scarfed down a quick breakfast of half a muffin and orange juice, she redialed outside.

**Kurt**

Rachel's phone rang.

"Hello? Rachel? Hello?" Kurt said.

"_Kurt?_" Kurt's voice squeaked from the other line.

"Holy shit," Rachel's voice responded.

"_How did this happen?"_

"How the hell would I know!"

"_What should we do?"_

Kurt went to run his hand through his hair, but surprised himself when he met the long strands. "I-I don't know. I guess just try to act like me today and I'll try to- Blaine! Oh my god, we were supposed to get coffee today! And oh shit, what if he wants to kiss you-me-whatever!"

"_I've already kissed Blaine, don't worry, I'm not going to steal him away from... you?"_

"No! No kissing him! Oh god, then he'll think I'm such a prude!"

"_Prude? Wha-_Kurt! _We have more important matters to think about right now!"_

"I'm going to my house-your house for now- after school. Tell Blaine to drop you off home..." Kurt sighed heavily into the phone, voice a bit thick, "and that you want to spend time with him, you really do, but you have a huge project that you have to work on... and that you're sorry that you have to cancel our _plans_, but you promise, promise with all your heart, to make it up to him..."

"_What does that mean?_"

"Nothing, just tell him that!"

"_You better not embarrass me today!"_

"Right back at you sister."

**Rachel**

"Hey good-looking. Need a lift?" Blaine asked as Kurt's body stepped into his car. He leaned over to kiss his boyfriend, but Rachel only gave him her cheek. Blaine kissed down Kurt's jaw and neck. "He" was still unresponsive.

Blaine took Kurt's chin and angled it towards him. "You okay?"

"Um, no not really. I'm having a _really_ off day. Don't mind me," Rachel answered quickly.

Blaine gave up and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel quickly. "Well, happy 3 month anniversary, by the way."

Rachel gaped. "Oh! Yay! 3 months! Seriously? Wow. It went so... fast." She felt bad now. Should she just kiss Blaine so that he wouldn't feel uncomfortable.

"And I guess if you're not feeling well... I guess we're not going to..." Blaine scratched at the back of his neck. "You know."

"What?" Oh shit, what was she supposed to tell Blaine? Something about not being able to do a project?

Blaine stared at Kurt with huge eyes. "Seriously?"

"I think I might be sick," Rachel blurted. "My head is all fuzzy. Maybe I should just stay home."

Blaine chewed on his lower lip. "Yeah, maybe. You look a bit pale." Rachel started to leave the car, but Blaine pulled her back and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead before trailing his fingers along her jaw. "Feel better. Call me later."

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><p><strong>For literature people out there, I got inspired to write this because I have to read "the Metamorphosis" by Frank Kafka so I started the story out similar to how his begins. <strong>

**THE HIATUS HAS BEGUN!**

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	2. Period

**Kurt and Rachel**

"So I guess we'll just have to be each other until whatever curse this is over... if it's ever over," Rachel said, attempting to cross her legs again, but her new dick kept getting in the way.

Kurt laid his head on the kitchen table, hair splaying out. No one was home at the Hummel-Hudson home thankfully so the two could talk about the predicament in private.

"It better end one day! I don't care if it's a week or a year from now, I just need to go back to my own body! It's like having to wear the same horrible outfit everyday! And I can't even come home to my own bed and family."

"Excuse me? What about 'horrible outfit' aka, my _body!_"

Kurt's head shot back up. "On no, I didn't mean it that way. Sorry. I'm just. Tired."

Rachel sighed, running a hand through her hair, making it stick up. "I know what you mean, it feels like I haven't slept in forever."

"What do you think did this?" Kurt asked, playing with the long brown hair.

"Hell if I know," Rachel sighed. "I'm still banking on this being a very realistic dream. I stayed home today, but I know that I'm going to have to go to Dalton tomorrow to avoid suspicion."

"Well I guess for now though we just have to deal with... whatever this is." Kurt straightened himself in the chair, pushing on the table so he could sit up. He caught sight of his nails and grimaced. "I guess this is a bit of a good thing, Rachel, because I need to give you a make-over badly. At least you can't resist this time."

Rachel rolled her glasz eyes. "Okay, I already see that we need to set some boundaries on what we can and cannot do in our new bodies. First, you cannot give me a haircut, have sex with anyone, _especially_ not Finn, and-"

"Whoa Berry, slow down! You think I'm going to try to use your body to get guys? That's low. Besides, I have Blaine and literally want no one but him, I'm over Finn completely."

Rachel crossed her arms. "First of all, please never say 'I'm over Finn completely' again while you're still in my body. And by the way, you said you would explain what was supposed to happen with you and Blaine today. He seemed really upset and disappointed in the car."

A blush spread over Rachel's tan complexion. "You know how today was our three-month anniversary? We um," Kurt paused, staring at, well, himself. He and Rachel were friends, but he had never intended to confide his intimate relations with her. But these were special circumstances and she needed to be informed. "Blaine and I were going to lose our virginities to each other."

Rachel was silent for a moment, then said, " 'Virginities?' Is that a word? Or do you say-"

"_Rachel!"_

"Okay, okay, so what do you want me to do?"

Kurt sighed. "Well, please don't have sex with him. I want to do that. Obviously."

"Deal." Rachel smirked. "So you two are pretty serious if you've waited this long."

Kurt bit his bottom lip, smiling a bit. "Yeah," he said dreamily. "And now for some rules on my body-"

"But I didn't get to finish!" Rachel interrupted.

"Don't care. No tattoos. No kissing Blaine. No having sex with Blaine. You may hold his hand, kiss him on the cheek, hug, and complement him. And make sure to let him know that you're still interested in him, but you're sick or something. No wearing any of my clothes other than the Dalton blazer because I have full confidence that even though every article of clothing in my closet if stunning, you would somehow ruin it. If you must, please send me a picture of what you look like before leaving the house. Scratch that, before leaving the _bedroom_..."

**Kurt**

For his second day as Miss. Rachel Berry, Kurt was going to flaunt his new girl-body. He shaved his legs carefully, only nicking his knees a few times, and plucked at her horrendous eyebrows. Then, after a good 5 minutes of resisting the urge to burn her closet, Kurt was able to scavenge some black leggings, a purple skirt and lacy white top paired with black heels. He applied her makeup perfectly, going heavy with the lipstick.

Fuck yeah he looked good.

Kurt walked proudly into his old school, sunglasses covering his eyes so that he could see everyone who was going to look at him.

Kurt moved in the hallway beautifully, walking in heels better than Rachel was ever able to. The natural air flow in the hallways caught his long hair every few steps and he couldn't resist flipping the long locks back every once in a while.

Luckily, the sunnies were a good idea. Most of the guys in the school looked at Rachel like it was the first time ever seeing her, and Kurt ate up the attention.

He walked past Finn who was hunched into his top-row locker. "Hey Rach," Finn said automatically when he smelled her trademark perfume wafting his way.

" 'Morning Finn," Kurt responded kindly as he continued past.

Finn whipped his head out of the locker, banging his forehead on the side door. He watched her retreating figure, not confused by why she was dressed so nicely, but why she hadn't subjected Finn to the daily ritual of talking his ear off every time she saw him. He continued to stare at her as she strutted farther and farther away. She never even looked back to see if he was looking, and the way she had said " 'Morning Finn" was so off-handish and so unlike her usual "Oh hey Finn!" squeal.

She turned the corner and was gone. Finn shrugged to himself as he stuffed some books into his locker, maybe she was finally getting over him.

Though that didn't stop him from looking over once more to see if she was going to come back.

"Hey Rachel," Kurt heard as he fiddled with Rachel's locker, sneaking glances at the paper in his palm after every turn.

"Rachel?"

Kurt mentally yelped, "_Oh, that's me!" _before answering, "Yeah?" as the locker swung open.

Kurt vaguely remembered the tan boy. He thought his name was Luke or something, but he was definitely one of Puck's old pals that threw him in the dumpster at least twice.

"You look really great today Rachel," he said smoothly, glancing at Kurt's (Rachel's) legs. "Do you want to see that new vampire movie that's out now?"

Kurt tapped his chin, looking Luke up and down. "I don't know... I do have better offers..."

"How about dinner too?" Luke asked again, rubbing his hands together.

"Eh, no, I think I'll pass," Kurt said, closing his locker and cat-walking away, knowing that his butt was moving ever so nicely in the skirt.

**Rachel **

"How are you feeling today?" Blaine asked when he saw Kurt (who was actually Rachel) arrive to first period.

"A bit better, but I'm still pretty worn out." Rachel smiled at Blaine. "I'm sorry about yesterday." Rachel took hold of Blaine's hand. "I just don't want to get you sick and I was just so worn out, I didn't even remember my own name in the beginning of the day!" _Which is more or less literal._ She thought to herself.

Blaine kissed Rachel on the cheek. "That's okay. Hey, I'm sorry, but I can't get together tonight. My dad is going through his mid-life crisis and suddenly feels like we need to spend more time together," Blaine said with a slight snort.

"Perfect!" Rachel said.

Blaine raised an eyebrow.

"No, no, I mean, I'm sad we won't be spending any time together," Rachel backpedaled. "But Ku-, erm, Rachel said something about hanging out tonight. You know, girl talk, " Rachel said, trying to imitate Kurt's flair, but guessing that she wasn't doing a very good job because of Blaine's utterly confused expressions.

"Um, alright." Blaine gently placed his hand on Rachel's back, sending a tingle up her spine as he led them over to their seats in the back row.

They sat down and Rachel searched for the right books in Kurt's Dalton satchel, yet she felt Blaine's eyes on her. She placed the History book on the desk then faced Blaine, awkwardly taking one of his hands. Blaine didn't notice the awkwardness and gripped his boyfriend's hand like a lifeline, his thumb rubbing over the other's knuckles soothingly.

Rachel told herself to keep it together for the sake of Kurt's love life. "Blaine, I'm so sorry about yesterday," she began, trying to remember everything Kurt instructed her to say. "One, I really am a bit sick." She paused to emit a feeble cough for emphasis. Oh yes, those acting classes were paying off. "And two, you know that you are the only one in the world that I undeniably adore with all my heart... I just don't know if I'm ready just get to have a physical relationship with you." She finished with a little bit of a smile. The teacher walked in as she said this and she patted Blaine's hand before turning her attention to the instructor.

Blaine swallowed, staring at Rachel a few moments more before rotating forward as well. Rachel glanced at Blaine throughout the class, not even trying to absorb Antionette's downfall since McKinley's History program hadn't even started the French Revolution. Blaine seemed to not be focusing either as he chewed his lip and picked at the end of the pencil eraser, head down.

A few minutes before class ended he looked up at Rachel and stared at her; big brown eyes penetrating deep under her skin. She resisted the urge to squirm under his paralyzing stare as he seemed to rip off this mask with the intensity of his focus, searching desperately for whatever he knew he had to be missing.

Just as Rachel felt she should just give up and tell Blaine everything that was happening, the bell rung and she tried her best not to sprint out of the room.

**Kurt**

Kurt sauntered to Rachel's bathroom after school and once again felt awkward sitting down on the toilet to pee. There seemed to be a lot less pressure though, he didn't have to aim and- _WTF is that?_

He happened to look down at his purple lacy panties that now had a giant brownish splat in the middle. He had finished peeing, but he continued to stare at the mess. He felt frozen, he couldn't create a rational thought, he just stared at his panties.

_Did I poop and not know?_ Was the first thing that came to mind. He blinked. He must have sat there for at least 2 minutes. Seriously not thinking of anything other than having an accident, he leaned forward more and sniffed.

_Holy fuck!_ He mentally screamed. It didn't smell like waste, but it smelled god awful. From leaning over, he noticed that there was rouge-colored smears all along the inside of his thighs and his black leggings were wet as well.

_Oh shit._ He knew what it was. _Oh shit! Oh fuck me! Oh shit shit shit!_ He felt like he might faint, but instead swallowed the bile that was coming up in his throat and grabbed at Rachel's (his) purse and unzipped the inner pockets.

He pulled out a bright orange tube and swallowed again. Though he had tried everything to not look at Rachel's private parts, he had to lift up the front of the skirt and tried to find his vagina.

_Aw fuck ew!_ Kurt put a hand over his nose and breathed through his mouth, trying to control his gag reflex. There was blood fucking everywhere! And it smelled horrible!

And where the hell was this vagina?

Kurt stripped off the leggings and panties and threw them in the sink. He gingerly took off the skirt, careful to not get any blood on it. He stood up and some more blood began flowing down his leg heading for the white shag bathroom mat.

"Fuck!" he emitted and shoved a handful of tissues between his legs. "Ew!" he said again as some blood got on his hand. He wiped it off on the already-ruined leggings then stripped his blouse off. He grabbed the orange tube again and jumped into the shower, throwing the tissues into the un-flushed toilet which was filled with crimson water.

"Okay Kurt, you can do this," he said to himself as he examined the tube. "They don't shove this whole thing up there do they?" Thankfully the package said "Open" in curly letters and he did so, a rolled piece of fabric-like substance suspended by some string deposited into his hand. He spread his legs apart and searched around for his vagina. After a few minutes, he was ready to pass out from stress.

Then he knew he was going to have to touch himself... down there. He braced himself and started poking around his female parts, pushing the folds apart looking for her opening. His nail pushed into the ring, the sharp edge scraping at the wrong angle and he swore again from the pain.

And then he passed out.

"Rachel? Rachel, sweetheart, are you upstairs?" a male voice called.

"Honey, are you home?" another said.

Kurt pulled himself out of his haze. His head ached from bumping it on the side of the tub from when he collapsed and blood was still dripping out of him. He swooned again, but answered back, "I'm upstairs! Don't come up!"

He face-palmed. That was the exact thing you should never say when you want privacy!

"Why? Is something wrong?" Footsteps.

Rachel's dads opened the bathroom door and looked around, then at their daughter who seemed to be close-to-tears.

"Sweetheart? What's wrong?"

Kurt sniffed. "I got my-my period, and I just sorta freaked. Can you help me?"

Pure compassion flowed across Rachel's father's faces as they wordlessly began helping her. Kurt racked his brain for names, but then remembered he only had to call them "dad."

Kurt wrapped a towel around Rachel's naked lower half and stepped out of the bath, stuffing more tissues between her legs. The first dad helped her clean her leggings out with cold water in the sink while her other father returned with some square packets. Kurt took them and slowly opened the tri-fold then when he figured out how to use it, he pressed it into the panties and folded the wings back.

Dad #2 tied off the garbage bag in Rachel's bathroom, but not before glancing in it. "Rachel? Since when do you use tampons? You always said you hated them."

Kurt had to hold back face-palming again. Though the fathers were acting normally, these were not Kurt's parents and not Kurt's body so he felt awkward. "I dunno," he mumbled as a response. "But thanks... Dads."

"No problem sweetheart," they said, each giving her a kiss on the head.

When they left Kurt sunk to the floor, eying the new pack of pads a few feet from him.

"I hate you," he said to it.

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><p><strong>Oh my gosh thank you all SO MUCH for all the Story Alerts and Faves and everything! I wish I could hug you all! In this chapter I'm starting to introduce the actual plot to this story (yes! there's going to be a plot, I surprised myself actually! XD) where Finn and Blaine realize that something is wrong. <strong>

**I really hope you all are enjoying the story and thanks for such positive feedback! **

**Please review! It only takes a few seconds! 3**


	3. Abort

**I couldn't resist. This is not rated M because I like sex and naughtiness. IDK if there will really be any other kind of sexual acts after this, but lets hope maybe. XD**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Rachel<strong>

Rachel slowly placed Kurt's car into a parking place, hitting the brake when she seemed too close to the curb. She stepped out and looked to see how close the car was. She was at least 3 feet away. Mumbling to herself, she got back inside the car and inched forward a bit more. She repeated this ritual 3 more times before she gave up, not caring that she was practically parked in two spots.

She ran to Kurt's first period class, grimacing at the list as she did so.

Gym class.

Why on Earth would Kurt take a gym class? At Dalton, all classes besides for Mathmatics, English, and a Science were electives! She was still glaring at the words "Physical Education" on her class schedule when she walked into the boys locker room. The smell of Axe and feet smacked her in the face. It took all her willpower to not to cover her mouth and nose. Instead she forged on to find locker 410 which (of course) was a locker in the deeper depths of the smelly hell-hole. Though for some reason she had the assumption that since all the boys at Dalton seemed to be very well mannered that their locker rooms would at least smell cleaner, but she forgot that under all the dapper mannerisms that they were still boys. At least even this wasn't as bad as McKinley's boy's locker room so that was a plus.

"Hey babe," Blaine greeted when he saw Kurt emerge from a row of dark red lockers.

Rachel couldn't help that her mouth opened a bit when Blaine pulled off his shirt revealing an unexpected defined body.

_So that's what has been under that uniform. DAYUM._

Rachel realized now why Kurt chose to take the gym class.

That sly dog.

She busied herself with unlocking Kurt's locker as Blaine caught her staring.

"Kurt sweetheart," he said, walking over, still shirtless. He took Rachel's hands off the lock then fiddled with the lock on the locker next to it. He opened it for her, handing her the bag. "_This_ is your locker." He smiled then placed a kiss on Rachel's forehead. "You really are off today."

Blaine went back over to his locker a few feet away while Rachel rummaged through Kurt's Dalton embroidered gym clothes, all freshly washed thankfully. She took off her blazer and shirt then put the gym shirt on. For dressing her bottom half though was going to be a challenge as she encountered the fabled "jock strap." It had three bands to it and a curved triangle which she assumed was where the junk went. Thankfully Blaine and the other guy that was near her had walked away so she was left alone for a few moments to figure out this thing. She wasn't sure if it was acceptable to put it on out in the open and she wasn't sure if she was supposed to put it on under her boxers or what.

"Five minutes girls!" the gym teacher called into the locker room.

She decided to just skip it for today. All she knew was right then that she had to pee again. Blaine was there and she went to the urinal next to him, grabbing some toilet paper from the toilet stall before unzipping her jeans and pulling her dick out. She noticed Blaine eying the empty urinal out of the three there, but then shrugged to himself and looked forward again. Rachel placed the thin tissue on her palm then wrapped her hand gently around "her" penis, aiming with precision at the bath mint.

Oh yes, she definitely had the hang of this. Unable to not notice what she was doing, Blaine pretended not to notice his boyfriend's sudden oddities in his urination ritual.

Rachel changed into her gym pants, ignoring the jock strap again. How bad could it be?

She found out how bad it could be when they were told to run 4 laps (one mile) and her junk bounced fucking everywhere at every step. Not only was it incredibly awkward, but after the third lap she was almost certain that Kurt's dick would never be the same again.

Good lord why did he have to be huge? The thing flopped around everywhere!

Finally when finished the fourth lap then instructor had then begin courtyard basketball immediately. Rachel sighed in relief because, ironically, basketball was the one sport that she was actually good at though she was short. Anyways, Kurt was good at football and if they were playing that she knew she wouldn't be able to play up to Kurt's skill and she knew they would definitely know something was up.

The ball was tossed into the court and Rachel snatched it up, then dribbled it over to the net, shooting it in effortlessly.

Blaine's jaw dropped making Rachel blush. Then he walked past and tapped Rachel's ass making her twitch.

Suddenly her designated team clapped her on the back and said various forms of "Good job." A boy from Kurt and Blaine's french class came up to her after everyone was back in the starting positions and looked her in the eye. "That was really good," he said sincerely.

"Thanks," Rachel responded, then went back over to Blaine, trying to remember "French Boy's" name.

Rachel scored two more points for her team then stood back as the boys started to really get into it. Since there were no girls to watch out for, Rachel noticed some dirty moves that some of the guys were throwing in. She decided to stay back with Blaine who didn't seem to be really into the sport.

"Why aren't you really playing?" Rachel asked him, trying to get her breathing under control.

Blaine smirked. "Basketball has never been my forte. Shortness isn't exactly a point in your favor in this game."

Rachel tilted her head a bit. "Well I guess, but I-erm, Rachel is actually pretty good at basketball and she's even shorter than you. No offense. You just have to have determination and focus on a goal and it will come to you. That's how I'm going to get to Broadway after all."

"You've been hanging out with Rachel a lot haven't you," Blaine commented. "You talk about her a lot lately and you sounded just like her a second ago."

Rachel mentally kicked herself. "She's a good friend," she said simply.

Suddenly the gym teacher walked away letting the game continue. A few boys got in a playful fight and ignored the basketball game and opted to instead wrestle a bit.

After a few moments of fumbled movement, Jeff pinned Nick to the ground and thrust his hips roughly against his side yelling, "Take it bitch" in a totally joking manner.

Nick screamed and giggled for Jeff to get off, but the laughter from the other guys just made the two play it up harder.

Blaine laughed too yet Rachel stayed silent, coughing out a few chuckles. She had other problems to attend to as the two attractive Warblers continued practically going at it on the basketball court. Blaine was practically doubled over in hysterics likewise the other students as they rolled around, screaming sexual innuendos and profanities.

Rachel though, was trying everything she could to ignore the heavy feeling in her crotch as her blood rushed south. She exhaled and tried concentrating on something other than what was going on in front of her, but that wasn't stopping the erection forming in her gym clothes. Now she was starting to get pissed because all day it seemed like she was on the brink of getting an erection. Did the feeling ever really go away?

Now she was starting to go to the point of no return and she had no idea what to do about it.

When class ended she sprinted back into the locker room, ignoring the ridiculous feeling of her over-sensitive member moving around everywhere.

Little did she know that Blaine was at her heels and when she pulled at the waistband of her gym shorts to glance at her member, she didn't see him tilt his head to the side and hold back a snicker.

"Um, having a little trouble are we?"

Rachel's head whipped back up and the elastic made a loud snapping sound against her lower stomach. "It's nothing, Blaine," she rushed out. "You just..." she trailed off as Blaine stared at her crotch unashamedly. "You looked really good out there and _this_ happened," she fibbed. She self-consciously covered her groin.

Blaine rolled his dark eyes. "Babe, we may not have had sex yet," he began, voice deep and low as he gently pressed Kurt, with his body, against the lockers. "But it's not like we haven't seen each other at our worst," he finished, nipping at Kurt's neck.

"Oh god," Rachel sighed, tensing up in worry and ecstasy as Blaine brushed his hand over her cock.

He looked down between them and raised an eyebrow. "You're not wearing a cup? Not trying to butter you up or anything, but didn't it hurt to run with the size of your junk?" Blaine emitted a throaty chuckle and breathed against Rachel's neck again.

"Oh god Blaine," she repeated, unpracticed on how to stop herself from getting too excited too quickly. She needed to stop this, this was Kurt's boyfriend. Where was a cold shower when she needed it?

Blaine's thigh moved between her legs, pressing perfectly against her balls. She started sweating and mildly freaking out. She was going to orgasm! _Not good, not good, abort! Abort! _She chanted to herself. "B-Blaine, we need to get to next period and what if someone sees us," she frantically whispered between pants.

"Kurt, we have study hall and Trent already packed up his stuff so we're practically alone. That's why we change so far back here." Rachel gasped, half from surprise and half from passion. No wonder Kurt picked this class! Good lord, what a horn dog, did they do this all the time? Blaine had trapped her hands so the only way to tell him to back off without hurting his feelings was to push him with her body.

Not good.

Blaine took it as encouragement and pressed his thigh harder against Rachel.

All of Rachel's valiant efforts to keep control were in vain as Blaine groaned in her ear, wrapped an arm around her torso and put his hand into her pants. "Shh, or do you want the whole world is going to hear-"

Rachel came the second Blaine's hand touched her penis, biting into his sweaty gym shirt to muffle her hysterical screams. She was not a pro at getting herself off in the first place and because she was with another person everything seemed just so insanely hot, dirty, and naughty. She shuddered her relief as the wound up feeling in her body suddenly seemed to stream out of her through her dick, splattering the inside of her now-soiled shorts.

She sagged against Blaine, ashamed, but more importantly, utterly blissful. He set her right on the bench. Blaine stared at her incredulously. "Kurt? What's wrong with you? I barely touched you and you just..."

Rachel was confused, he seemed _hurt_ almost.

"I'm sorry," she said faintly. "Well at least let me return the favor," she said honestly, gesturing at Blaine's half-hardness and beginning to stand up.

Blaine seemed to flinch away a bit, not wanting to touch her again. He shook his head, expression unreadable. "No, I'm fine. Forget about it."

Rachel was frozen again as he locked on her with that penetrating gaze of his. Once again she was being torn apart by him and she couldn't even squirm.

The bell rang and Blaine changed faster than Rachel could comprehend, then practically ran out of the locker room, face flushed.

Rachel buried her head in her folded arms, breathing heavily and telling herself not to cry. How was she going to tell Kurt about this? Once the next class started undressing she stripped out of her disgusting gym shorts, wincing as she did so, and stuffed them into her gym bag then ran out similarly to how Blaine had.

**Kurt and Rachel**

Rachel leaned against the outside of last period's math class, a bright green "Visitor" badge pinned to her Dalton blazer lapel as she waited for Kurt. Dalton Academy let their students out an hour and a half earlier than most public schools because of their fewer, yet longer classes. The bell rung and Kurt quickly stepped out of the class, thighs pressed close together, steps short in the high heels.

"How the fuck do you girls do this all day?" Kurt whispered to Rachel as they headed towards Kurt's car which Rachel had driven around in for the first time

"What are you talking about?" she whispered back as they walked down the hall together.

"Every time I stand up I feel like cranberry sauce is fricken dripping out of me!"

"Oh, yeah, I sorta forgot that I was due with all the craziness lately. Sorry."

Kurt stopped walking, beginning to go cross-eyed and his nose twitched.

Rachel knew he was about to sneeze and she held back laughter because she knew exactly what he was going to do afterward.

Kurt sneezed hard and suddenly his face twisted into agony and his entire body shivered as a huge glob of blood pushed out of "his" vagina. "EW! Ewewewewew!" he squealed. Some girls looked at Kurt (aka Rachel's body) in question.

"She got gum on her shoe!" Rachel (aka Kurt's body) said to them with a shaky laugh, trying to cover up.

Rachel's face looked entirely void of any hope. "I can't do this... I thought I knew girls, like I could be one of them, but I didn't! I've learned my lesson!" he screamed to the heavens. "Kill me now!"

"Shh!" Rachel shushed him. "You're making me look like a fool!"

"Oh, so I shouldn't have given Mike a lap dance?" he quipped sarcastically.

Rachel sighed and continued to Kurt's car which she had somehow been able to drive to school even though she only had a permit so far. Kurt stopped walking and stared at Rachel, once again freaking himself out because he was staring at himself. The car was parked slanted _and_ in two spaces. An extremely small dent was in the front of the car.

"You _did not_ dent my car!" he said running over in his heels (which he was surprisingly good at) and inspected the damage.

Rachel blushed and got into the passenger side. "Just a little one," she mumbled.

Kurt got in, fuming, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel a few times, sparkly nails glinting prettily.

"You know what, I didn't have the best day either!" Rachel said, slamming her door shut. "I had to pee in public for the first time today! It was so weird! I was standing next to Blaine who just kept staring at me like I was some kind of idiot and-"

"Wait," Kurt said, going a bit pale. "When you mean 'standing next to' do you mean that every urinal was taken and that you _had_ to go next to him?"

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "No. It was just me and him in the bathroom so he was all the way on the left and I went to the urinal next to him because I thought it would be weird to go to one that was so far away from him."

"_RACHEL!" _Kurt groaned, face-palming. "Haven't you ever heard of the sacred men's bathroom code! You never use the urinal next to another dude when there are free urinals _away_ from him! It's just creepy!"

Rachel blushed, scratching the back of her neck, still surprised to meet the short hair there. "Well then I guess I shouldn't tell you about the tissue thing."

"Tissue thing wha- you know you're right, I don't even want to know. Just, no." Kurt pulled out of the parking lot, his irritation practically tangible. "I can honestly say, Rachel, you're ruining my life!"

Rachel pouted. "Yeah, _you're_ mad. Do you know how many fucking semi- erections you get per day?" she hissed at him.

Kurt raised one of Rachel's freshly plucked eyebrows and replied: "Der." Suddenly he broke into a grin and cleared his throat. "Oh, I forget, this is only week one of being a male." Kurt sniggered as Rachel blushed. "Yeah, you get used to it. God, right now you're acting like my 12 year old self."

"Hmm really? Well I think yours is defective or something because I got an erection about everything! And as soon as I can calm 'you' down it seems that there's something else just waiting to make it go again! It's embarrassing!"

Kurt stopped the car in the parking lot and whipped his head to look at her, his long hair hitting himself in the face. "Wait, no one has seen you get one right?" Great, this is just what he needed; Kurt Hummel: easily excited.

Rachel pushed back her hair. "No, thank god. But I still have no freaking idea how you cross your legs all the time! It keeps getting caught between your thighs! I think I'll just chop it off when I get home."

"You touch one hair on it and I'll take nudes and send them to Puckerman."

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><p><strong>More on Rachel explaining the Blaine incident later!<strong>

**Please review! I hope ya'll liked it! I had a super-sucktastic day, send me some love! 3 3 3**


	4. Shave

**Once again "He/Kurt" is for Kurt who is in Rachel's body and "She/Rachel" is for Rachel who is in Kurt's body. **

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><p><strong>Rachel and Kurt<strong>

Kurt drove them to his house and Rachel had to let him in with her key. He frowned because of the reality that this was not his house for the time being.

They put their books down, both agreeing to skip homework that day so they could analyze how the other was doing in their borrowed lifestyles, as was their new norm.

"What are you doing?" Rachel asked as Kurt ran over to the fridge and put some frozen chicken nuggets into the microwave.

"I never eat these, but I'm craving meat so badly you don't even understand. No offense, but if I have to eat only your vegan crap for the rest of my life, i might just kill myself."

As Rachel put down her bag, she remembered the hastily packed ruined gym clothes in the secondary bag. "Um, I'll be right back," she said heading for the stairs and tripping halfway up.

"Are you okay?" Kurt called up.

"I'm fine," she said. "I've been tripping a lot because I'm not used to being so tall." She threw the gym bag under the bed then rushed back down to Kurt.

Kurt was braiding a tiny strand of the long brown hair. "I must say though, I'm enjoying this hair. Not that I would ever grow it out myself, but for now this is fun. It's like our 'hairography' lesson all over again."

He flipped the locks back and eyed Rachel. "By the way, is that stubble? When is the last time you shaved?" he asked, a bit horrified.

She looked into the nearest mirror and tilted her face, pulling at her skin to try to see the underside of her chin. "Um, I never tried shaving." There was actually more than just a bit of stubble though she noticed. A fine layer of hair had sprouted all over her jaw.

"You need to shave that," he said gravely.

She shrugged. "Why? I've always been curious to know what you look like with a beard or a chin strap or something."

"No!" he practically yelled in the empty house. "Last summer I grew out a mustache for fun, I looked like a pedophile!"

"Oh comon' Kurt, I'm sure you did not."

He laughed. "No, I did! I'm too pretty to have a mustache." He stood up, ready to stalk over to her, but he paused, letting the glob of period blood splosh out. He shivered then continued towards her. "You're learning how to shave, now!" He grabbed her hand and brought her to his old bathroom, turning on the shaving cream warmer. He sighed as he pulled the shaving materials together. "I never thought I'd ever be giving shaving lessons to anyone but my son. If that. I think I'd have Blaine teach him," he mumbled to himself, pushing the long hair out of his face again.

"Oo," Rachel said, sitting her tall body onto the bathroom counter, swinging her legs back and forth.

Kurt snapped his manicured fingers at her. "No. Off," he pointed to the ground.

Rachel pursed her lips and got off, standing again.

"And take off that blazer," Kurt said as he tested the blade. "It wrinkles like no tomorrow."

Rachel did as he said then moved closer to him when he pulled her over. He put Rachel's hand under the metal canister and pushed out a dollop of the heated cream into her palm. Rachel smoothed it over her jaw then drew a squiggly mustache into the foam with her nail. Kurt looked up at her, frowning. "I'm not even going to comment. Anyways, welcome to shaving one-oh-one, you know how to shave your legs, it's just like that expect on your face. But be super careful because I, erm, _you_ have really sensitive and pale skin so be careful of razor burn-" his words caught in his throat as Rachel effortlessly shaved off all the hair on her cheeks, but then hesitated as she got to the patch under her jaw. She tilted the razor different ways and leaned in close to the mirror, jaw tilted up and eyes straining to see in the mirror from the awkward angle.

Kurt rolled his brown eyes and swiped the razor from Rachel's hands as she positioned it sideways on her neck. "Here, let me do this part," he said. "Good lord, you're going to cut my throat wide open. Congratulations, you officially fail as a woman _and _as a man." Kurt cupped Rachel's face gently and glided the razor around.

Kurt was on his tip-toes to get the best angle and worked with precision. He dipped it under the facut. "So anything else eventful happen today?" he asked.

_I came in my pants. Sorry about that._ She thought to herself. "Nope, not really."

Kurt flicked the razor away with a flourish. "Perfect," he said triumphantly, then he ran it under the water for the last time, cleaning the blade. Rachel swiped a damp towel over her face removing the last of the cream.

He wordlessly handed her a bottle.

"What's this?" she asked, she opened it and sniffed at it. "Oo, manly," she said in a husky tone.

"Don't do that," he stated. "You made me sound so weird there. Not important. That stuff is aftershave. Put some on your hands then gently dab it on your jaw."

Rachel did as he said then slapped it on her face like the boy from Home Alone did. She never got why he screamed, but once the liquid touched her freshly shaved skin, she screamed bloody murder similar to how the character did.

Kurt jumped a foot in the air and dropped the razor in the sink in shock.

"I SAID _GENTLY_ YOU IDIOT!"

"Kurt?" Finn's voice called.

"Shit," Kurt murmured, cleaning up and turning off the warmer.

"Finn's here!" Rachel said, attempting to run downstairs. Kurt grabbed her shirt sleeve and pulled her back.

"Duh, he kinda lives here. And stop skipping around like that. By the way, I thought of another 'no-no' about my body. No trying to get Finn while you reside within me!"

"Totally missed everything you just said," Rachel sighed as she strained away from Kurt to get to Finn. They walked out together and spotted Finn at the bottom of the stairs hanging his backpack on the railing.

"Hey," Rachel said a bit breathlessly, tone coming out extremely high in Kurt's voice, she posed suavely at the top of the stairs.

Kurt rolled his eyes and rested his elbow on the arm that was wrapped around his middle, his old signature pose. "Finn, Carole said to stop putting your backpack on the railing," he said automatically as he sidestepped Rachel and took the backpack off, placing it next to the closet.

Finn raised an eyebrow. "Wow, you two really have been spending a lot of time together I guess. Kurt, I'm just curious though, when would it come up in conversation to tell Rachel that Mom hates it when I put my backpack there?"

Once again Kurt placed his elbow in his hand. He didn't think anything of it since it was his usual default position until he caught Finn staring at him, and he chose to put his arms back to his sides, playing with the hem of his skirt. "Oh, nothing, last time I was here, Carole said it to Kurt," he mended.

"Finn! I forgot, while you're here, I was thinking a of great duet we could do together for Mr. Schue-"

Finn shrugged. "Kurt, I'd do any duet with you... as long as it's not 'This House Is Not A Home'. No offense-"

"None taken," Kurt laughed, then remembered that he was Rachel.

Finn blinked again. The poor boy's head was going to explode if this kept up. "Um. Anyways, Kurt you don't go to McKinley anymore, so I don't know what you mean about doing duets."

Rachel and Kurt exchanged a long look and Finn twitched in discomfort. Kurt sighed and stepped into the chicken, taking the plate with the chicken nuggets on it.

"Oh thanks Rachel," Finn said, taking it from her.

Kurt frowned, stomach growling. "Yeah... Kurt made them when I came over, but forgot that I'm a vegan. But maybe just one-"

"No! You are not putting that disgusting pasturized food in that body!" Rachel scolded and Kurt dropped the nugget, sticking his tongue out quickly.

Finn blinked, his half-smile that he made when he was confused creeping onto his face. "You guys are acting so weird today."

"I need to go get something," Rachel said, turning on her heel to go upstairs and escape the awkwardness for a moment.

"I'll go with you," Finn said quickly, following on Rachel's heels.

Rachel glanced down at Kurt and flashed an excited smile which Kurt returned with a death glare. "Don't fuck this up!" he mouthed.

Rachel went into Kurt's room and fiddled around with the aftershave and tried thinking of something that she could use as an excuse to justify her going upstairs.

Finn sniffed the air. "Did you just shave? It's midday. Never mind, hey is Rachel still into me?"

Rachel whipped around. "Um, I don't know, how would I know, I'm not her!"

Finn leaned against the wall. "Damn, I was hoping if you knew. It's just, she's like_ always_ here now! Even more than when we were dating. I know you two are friends and all, but do you think she's just here to flirt with me... not that she's been flirting with me at all... she's actually been kind of ignoring me," he trailed off. "But still."

"Hey guys!" Kurt called up. "I'm going to leave, see you tomorrow in school Finn!"

"Bye K-Rachel!" Rachel called down, wanting him to go.

"Krachel?" Finn was suddenly distracted though when he saw Kurt's Navigator pulling out of the driveway. "You're letting her drive your car home?" Finn watched the car drive down into the distance. "Hmm, she's actually not that bad of a driver."

Rachel waved it off. "Blaine is picking me up tomorrow so no worries."

Finn plopped down next to Rachel on the bed, laying back and reaching for the prized football Kurt had kicked to win the football game almost 2 years ago. "Hey Kurt, I know girl's aren't exactly what you're into, but you really get them," Finn began.

_More than you know._ She thought to herself.

"Do you think we could, you know, have a little, what do you call it? 'Lady chat?'"

"Sure Finn, whatever you want," Rachel said earnestly, putting her hand on Finn's unoccupied one. He didn't even notice. He sat back up and Rachel moved into a chair across from Finn.

**Rachel**

"So what is it that you want to talk about Finn?" Rachel asked, sitting across from Finn on Kurt's bed.

Finn rubbed his fingers over the impressions on the football.

"It's Rachel. She-"

"Did she do something stupid in school?"

Finn looked quizzical. "Um. No. But for the last few days... we haven't really been talking."

"Has she been ignoring you?"

"Well no, we still talk. But it seems like she's not even trying anymore."

"Trying for what?" Rachel egged him on.

"Trying to get back together with me. Like, it started to get annoying. You know, having to hear every single try for an original song that she did or trying to get me to do duets with her. But at least we were still hanging out and talking. And I... I kinda miss her now. It's like she's finally gotten over me completely and it's sorta lonely knowing that she doesn't crush on me anymore."

_Of course Kurt chooses _now_ to be over Finn! Damn him and getting a boyfriend!_

"I'm sure she's just... PMS-ing. Yeah, I'm sure she'll be all over you soon enough!" Rachel told Finn, automatically sitting next to him again on the bed and shimming close to him. "I think she might just be going through something right now."

Finn shrugged. "Still. I never know how I feel about her. One day I really love her and she loves me back, but then something stupid happens and we have to break up or I just can't take her anymore."

Rachel looked down. "And how do you feel about her right now?"

Finn tossed the football vertically, letting it spin a few times before falling back into his hands. "I think I love her. It kinda feels like when she was with Jessie and, you know, I sang 'Jessie's Girl' because I was jealous and wanted her back. Now there isn't even someone to, I don't know, compete with or confront or punch. She's just flying solo and is happy without me... but it hurts that she is so happy without me."

Rachel swallowed the lump in her throat. "Finn, she does still love you. Trust me. And she may look happy, but she still wants you back so much."

Finn looked at her. "Have you guys talked about it?"

She bit her lower lip. "A bit."

Finn nodded, tossing the football again. "So what do you think I should do?"

"Well you said that you love her, so go for it! Tell her how you feel and just lay it all down on the line, take a chance."

"Really?"

The scene Rachel conjured in her mind replayed in her head. "Oh yeah. Just go up to her and show her everything you feel."

They were both silent for a minute, imagining.

"Thanks Kurt," he said with a smooth smile, standing up.

"Anytime," she responded a bit breathlessly as he left.

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><p><strong>OH MY LORDY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE REIVEWS AND ALERTS AND LOVE AND ASKL;KLJFDKDSKjkgsL! I LOVE YOU ALL SO FRIGGEN MUCH!<strong>

**That being said, I'm not sure when the next update for this story will be since I won't have time to write any chapters for any story for a while. I'm posting this now because I wasn't sure if I would have time to this weekend and you all can at least have this to chew on while I hurry to write more!**

**Yes, for those who asked, I am a girl. Everything I have Kurt talk about draws from my period experiances ESPECIALLY from the first time I ever got it. **

**Reviews are nice! It only takes a minute!**


	5. Amor

**Here we will see a quick cameo by "Derek" an OC from a good friend of mine **Lane Render**who is one beastly writer! Thank you so much for letting me borrow him. He is also used in our combined account **FMLPro **in the story "The Call."**

**AND THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN FOR ALL THE REVIEWS AND ALERTS AND ADJKL;AJKFDJL you don't understand how much I squeal and smile when I see all the wonderful reviews and alerts! 3 Hope you like this chapter and get ready for a few chapters of ANGST! WHHHOOOOOO! LET'S DO THIS!**

**Enjoy my loves!**

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><p><strong>Rachel<strong>

Today was Rachel's first Warbler practice. Usually the Warblers met 3 times a week for 2 hours after school ended, but practices had been postponed lately because the Council Member's Senior class trip.

Kurt had brought her up to speed on all the dance moves and songs the last few days, but she was still nervous that something horrible would go wrong. She was pleasantly surprised though how quickly the Warblers jumped into the routine, barely chatting and doing whatever the Council Members instructed them to.

Minus her lack of solos, this was a choir dream come true.

As the rehearsal drew to a close, the Council discussed the following practice dates and other announcements before asking if any of the Warblers needed to say anything.

Rachel's hand shot up. "Council Members, if I may," she said getting up and standing in front of the desk. Blaine's eyes widened along with the other members yet no one said anything. "Our vocals are absolutely heavenly, but we do leave a bit to be desired. Throughout this practice I pondered what I felt was missing. That last piece of the puzzle, the," she paused partly for effect and partly to mull for a better word... which she couldn't think of. "Nonetheless," she continued, unfazed. "I finally figured it out during the third song that we need better dancing! I mean, really, we just sway back and forth while Blaine's arms fly around everywhere, sometimes switching it up with a side step. I really feel we could do better," she said, finishing her monolouge with enthusiasm.

She looked around at the group, each with vary levels of "WTF?" faces. She finally turned around to look at the Council who were blatantly unamused.

"That's all," she finished impishly, the great Rachel Berry kicked off her pedestal.

The Council exchanged some glances then said, "We'll take your suggestions into consideration Kurt, though I am confused to why you would want to change the simplistic dance steps that you choreographed _yourself_."

Rachel swallowed them scurried back to her seat, cheeks flaming red and almost close to tears.

**Kurt**

"Rachel?"

Kurt paused a moment before remembering that he had to respond to that and closed Rachel's locker to face Finn. "Hey Finn, what's-"

Suddenly Finn grabbed Kurt around the waist and pulled him up till their lips crushed together.

Kurt's initial thought was _My old crush is kissing me._ _Oh, hmm so this is what it's like to kiss Finn. Guess I was't missing much;_ Then, _Shit! Blaine! _And finally _Ew! Finn is my brother now!_

Kurt tried pushing away from Finn, but he wasn't as strong as he used to be now that he had Rachel's weaker body. He pounded his fists on the giant teenager and was finally put down.

"I honestly love you," Finn said suddenly.

Kurt felt slapped in the face with his own line. "Finn! We're brothers!"

Finn gaped. "Wha?"

"Erm, no, I mean, we're _like_ brothers," Kurt backpeddaled, needing to collect his thoughts.

"Shut up," Finn said softly, rubbing his hand down Rachel's arms, little hearts practically beating in his pupils.

"Finn!" Kurt half-yelled, shrugging away from him. Finn was too dazed in love to notice. "Why did you do that?"

"Because I love you and I want to be with you," Finn said, grabbing Kurt's hand.

Kurt couldn't help but relish in the glory of hearing those words spoken to him from his first real crush, but thankfully since he had been over Finn for about a year now, he didn't take it to heart; Finn did think he was talking to the real Rachel after all.

"I mean't why are you doing this _now_? Why not a few weeks ago... your feelings haven't made themselves known recently right?" Kurt winced. What if Finn had fallen in love with him and not Rachel? Now that would be awkward.

"In a way recent," Finn began.

_Oh shit._

"See, I always knew they were there. But now that you haven't been paying attention to me, it just made me realize how much I missed you. I feel like I haven't even known you for the last few weeks and now I just want to spend every waking minute with you," Finn smirked and looked up, shaking his head a bit like he did sometimes. "Also I talked to Kurt and he said that I should just take the initiative and kiss you."

Kurt's eye twitched. Did Rachel plan this? No way, Finn must have heard wrong or something.

"Finn," Kurt said, placing his hand over Finn's now. "I really do like you, but right now, I'm practicing the independent woman thing and I don't feel like bringing any possible drama into my life right now. But hopefully soon we can get together, okay?"

"But see that's the wonderful part, Rachel! There won't be any drama, because I just know it's you! I lov-"

Kurt put a finger to Finn's lips. "Shh, no, don't say the L-word."

"I thought that was 'lesbians?'" Finn mused.

Kurt closed his eyes and sighed, ignoring what Finn just said. Why did he have a crush on this boy? Or the better question, why as Rachel still into him? "Look, I haven't been myself lately," Kurt said, not lying, but ommitting certain details. "I do like you a lot, because I'm Rachel and will never truly let you go. But um... I'm on my period and can't kiss boys right now or something and I'm a proud single who needs to focus on Nationals and... I'm questioning my sexuality," he added lamely, literally using every excuse he could think of. Anyways if Rachel did plan this, at least he had a little payback in his back pocket.

Finn's expression was blank as Kurt's words slowly sank in. Kurt slapped his hands to his thighs and lifted up on his toes a bit. "Well thank you for the kiss, it was very nice, but I must say it wasn't as titilating as I had always dreamed it would be. Text ya later," he said with a flair then trotted off.

**Rachel**

Rachel stared at the worksheet in front of her, trying to decipher where she was supposed to fill in her name on this hell-spawned APFrench test.

Rachel had never taken a French class in her entire life. The only French she knew was a handful of swears that Kurt used frequently. Now she was faced with a three-page, single-spaced fill-in-the-blank verb conjugation test which she had no possible hope of passing.

Next to _Nom_ she wrote R-A-C then she sighed, crossing it out angrily then writing "Kurt Hummel" instead. This was already not looking well.

_1.) Le garçon se (walked) vers le magasin. _

Rachel tapped her pen against the margin leaving little blue dots there. _The gargoyle did something to the magazine?_ She guessed. _Yes, Rachel, I'm sure that's what it is._

She thought back to _Le Mis_ hoping maybe there were some phrases she could use. Of course at this moment she couldn't even remember the opening number.

"Chanter," she wrote in the space, remembering that it meant 'to sing'...possibly. Better than nothing she assumed.

Every question seemed worse and worse.

_2) Le lion (fell) (in love) avec l'agneau._

_3) Tu me (move)._

_4) Je ne pourrai jamais (say to you) au revoir_

_5) (I once had) un chat (thrown) sur moi_

And this wasn't even the end of the first section.

Rachel's answers were becoming more and more pathetic as she went on, resorting to Spanish verbs and hoping that they would be similar to French verbs. At the end she wasn't even trying with verbs and literally wrote down "carro" for an answer. She finished first and brought the teacher's desk face down so that she didn't have to look at her shame anymore.

"Oh Kurt, I can't wait to grade your paper tonight," the teacher said with a tired smile to his star student.

"I'm sure you are," Rachel muttered as she walked back to her seat. She put her head in her hands. She had never failed anything in her life before, and she felt even worse because it was Kurt's grades that she was going to effect.

About a half hour later most of the class had turned in their papers. Blaine was one of the few who hadn't finished yet and Rachel couldn't help but smile from the way his forehead creased in concentration, bottom lip gnawed at relentlessly. She half expected for smoke to start billowing from his ears.

Some whispers started within the rows of desks asking about what they put for certain answers. Jeff, who sat in front of Rachel, turned around quickly and asked, "Kurt, what did you get for number 25? The one about the fruit stand guy."

_Fruit stand? Oh lord, I did even worse on this than I thought._ "Um, I'm pretty sure I put down um...chanter?"

Jeff pursed his thin lips. "Damn, I thought I got that one right." He slowly turned back around.

"K-Kurt, what did you get for n-number 54... the one about the b-boy in love?"

Rachel looked at the man who was talking, she tried to remember his name. She knew him from gym class the other day, he had awkwardly congratulated her on making the first point during basketball. He was a sweet kid, but seemed very nervous.

"I don't remember what I put," Rachel responded, trailing off so that he could fill in his name.

"Derek. Derek Prince," he rushed out, extending a hand. "Sorry we really haven't talked before but," he said quickly, not stammering this time. "Je pense que tu es belle."

Rachel smirked, having no idea what he just said.

"Merci," she replied, using the lame phrase she did know.

Derek beamed before blushing a bit more.

"Pardonnez-moi d'être audacieux...mais vraiment je vous aime." Suddenly his cheeks burned bright red and she had no idea what that could mean.

"Bueno," she said, trying for a neutral response. She looked at Blaine for a clue to what Derek was saying, but he was staring at her angrily. She began to get nervous. What was Derek saying to her?

"Pensez-vous que nous pourrions aller à une date parfois?"

Rachel glanced over at Blaine hoping for some help, but she was frightened from the look on Blaine's face. His eyes were wide, glancing from Derek to Rachel in a mixture of anger and disbelief. His pen was gripped tightly in his hand that was starting to bend.

Rachel turned back to Derek and just shrugged, forcing a little laugh at the end. "Possiblemente," she added awkwardly.

A loud snap and Rachel whipped around to see Blaine's pen in two on the desk, his hands splattered with dark blue ink.

"Fuck!" Blaine said, hastily standing up while his hands fluttered around, unable to find a place to wipe them.

"Language Mr. Anderson!" the teacher scolded.

Without asking permission, Blaine stalked towards the door, hands up in route to the bathroom.

"Blaine, do you want-" Rachel began, but with cut off with a firm and very irritated "No!"

Rachel froze, halfway standing as Blaine did that piercing stare again. Suddenly Blaine's eyes filled with tears and he ran out, leaving a blue hand print on the door as he did.

Rachel cursed herself then ran out after him as well. She stole into the bathroom just as he began to lock it.

"Go away Kurt, I don't need you!"

Even though she was Rachel, she still felt the sting of his words.

"Blaine, please tell me what's wrong."

He whipped around, eyes bloodshot. "What's _wrong?_ You're asking _me_ what's wrong?" He shook his head in disbelief then began scrubbing his hands furiously under the hot water.

"Blaine, you're going to peel the skin off your hands!" Rachel said, taking his hands out of the scalding water and putting soap on them.

He pulled his hands away angrily. "See? Don't you feel that?" he asked, voice thick.

"Feel what, Blaine? I don't feel anything."

Blaine exhaled. "That's what I mean." His face seemed to elongate as he stared into the mirror, adjusting the water to a bearable temperate now. "Ever since our anniversary I haven't felt that little surge of energy we always talk about... or used to talk about. You haven't spoke about it in a week, and it's so adorable when you gush over how wonderful it is. And it's awful, Kurt, that you're not as bubbly around me anymore. I still felt it a bit when I kissed your cheek about a week ago, but you obviously didn't. And now you never seem like you do which in turn makes me not feel it anymore." He forced out a sarcastic laugh. "And, we haven't made out in forever either! And I feel..." he glanced at Rachel. "I may sound crazy... but you haven't been you. It's not like you got a haircut or there's something on your mind. You just haven't been you. At all. And frankly, it's fucking creepy." Giving up on his stained hands, he shakily dried them. "If you're going through something Kurt, tell me. Because even though I can't even recognize you anymore, I still love you. So much. I want to help," he concluded earnestly.

"There is stuff going on right now. But I don't think you can help me with this," she said as nicely as she could.

Blaine swallowed. "Kurt, back in French class, when Derek called you beautiful it was just amusing. Then he said he liked you and... and you didn't try to tell him that I'm you're boyfriend."

Rachel's heart stopped. That was what Derek was saying to her? Then what was the last thing that he said to her that made Blaine snap?

"It hurt, Kurt," he choked out, voice still thick. "And then... why didn't you say no?"

_Say no to what?_

"Stop giving me that look!" Blaine finally snapped. "You keep looking at me like you have no idea what I'm talking about and I know for a fact you were sitting right next to me when Derek asked you to go on a date sometime and you said that you would think about it!"

_Oh shit! He asked me out?_

Blaine bit his lower lip then looked back at Kurt. "We need to take a break," he said.

Rachel's heart dropped. Oh god no, he couldn't do this to Kurt.

"No," she whispered, at a loss for words. "You can't do that to Kur...to-to," she stumbled over her words until she was reduced to wordless sputters.

"Yes, Kurt. I love you. But I can't be around you right now. You're hurting me, and I'm afraid of hurting you and this permanently marking our relationship. I'm not saying we should start seeing other people, but we can't be together right now. At least until whatever you're dealing with is over."

Blaine stalked out of the bathroom and ran to his car, leaving the school without another word. Rachel wrenched out her phone texting him repeatedly to come back. She tried calling, but he wouldn't answer. She missed a period worth of classes trying to contact him, but it was all in vain.

She sat in the rest of her classes not absorbing any of the information.

She had lost Blaine and Kurt was going to hate her.

* * *

><p><strong>Do not take the French too seriously. The sentences are just funny things. 1 is "The man walked to the store," 2 is "The lion fell in love with the lamb", 3 is "You move me," 4 is "I will never say goodbye to you," 5 is "I once had a cat thrown at me."<strong>

**Then when Derek was talking he said "I think you're beautiful," "Forgive me for being bold, but I really like you," and then "Do you think maybe we could go out on a date sometime?"**

**Review? c:**


	6. Magazine

**Kurt and Rachel [Thursday]**

Kurt walked knocked on the door of his home...well, old home. He waited a few moments then knocked again. Rachel had text him to come by after school, she said it was urgent.

Suddenly he heard "Come in," from inside the house. He opened the door and there "she" was stripped of her Dalton blazer, curled up on the couch with her phone grasped tightly in her hand.

He ran over to her, kneeling beside the sofa. _God, is that what I looked like when I cried? _He thought to himself before asking her what was wrong.

"All m-my fault," she gasped out, voice extremely high.

Kurt put his hands through her short hair, grimacing at the amount of gel she put in. "No, it's okay, I forgive you."

She looked up at him with her bloodshot blue eyes. "What?"

Kurt sighed, pushing a long lock of the straight hair behind his ear. "Look, Finn came up to me and kissed me. He said that you told him to 'go for it' and he definitely did. Though I was pissed at first that you plotted for him to molest my face, I didn't think you would be this worked up about it."

She blinked, eyelashes stuck together with tears. "He kissed you? Oh shit Kurt, I didn't mean for him to do that. I-I was trying to tell him that he should-"

"Shh," Kurt soothed. "It's okay, I can see that you're sorry. And at least I learned that Finn really does love you... but I had to tell him 'no' for now because I can't exactly start a relationship with him now... and I may have mentioned something about you being a lesbian, but I'm almost certain that went over his head."

Rachel suddenly looked at him with fury instead of anguish. "You did what?"

They both turned when they heard the sound of Finn's car pulling into the driveway.

"Shit, I can't let Finn see 'you' here! I'll wait upstairs for you," Kurt said, sprinting towards the steps as fast as his heels would allow.

"We're not done here," Rachel said angrily, wiping tears off her face as the emotion was replaced once again with guilt. "I-I need to talk to you about something else."

Kurt made his way upstairs and gently lowered himself onto the bed as he heard Rachel and Finn exchange "Hello's." He walked slowly around the room, heart clenching a bit. Would he ever be able to sleep in it as his again? He reached out for the blue knit blanket draped over his hope chest and brought it to his face. He inhaled only smelling the detergent from it's last wash, but pretending that he could smell his mother's perfume like he did with the broken dresser. The blanket was actually unfinished, the fringe missing on one side because his mother had died before she had time to complete it. If he tried hard enough he could remember her playing the audio reading of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone while Kurt waved around her extra sewing needles like a wand and she continued with the blanket.

He absentmindedly put a hand to his hairline then shivered as he remembered that he now had Rachel's face. His own body had a small dent on the right side of his hairline from the time he tripped over her heart monitor wires and crashed into the coffee table. She had been so worried about the lump on his forehead that she seemed to forget about her monitors completely.

He glanced at his full length mirror. Though having Rachel's body was no picnic, the thing he missed most about his old body were his eyes. He missed having the exact blue-green eyes that his mother had had and having them made him feel like he still had a connection with her, as if a little physical part of her still lived on through him. Did Rachel now carry that welcome burden?

Kurt took a few deep breaths to keep from crying. Rachel was distraught about something and he couldn't be bawling himself. He carefully folded the blanket and placed it on a high shelf in his closet, needing a stool to stand on now that he was Rachel's height.

He took some of his other private items and placed them up there as well, out of Rachel's notice. He suddenly remembered his secret stash of old PlayGirl, OUT, and muscle mags under the bed. He got down on his knees and reached out for them, encountering a mesh bag instead. He pulled it out, wondering why his gym bag was under the bed and was immediately disgusted by the smell wafting from it. What the hell was Rachel thinking? He pulled out the clothes, going to place them in the laundry while he waited for Rachel until he encountered his gym shorts.

"What in the hell?" he breathed, pulling apart the fabric that seemed to be stuck together in odd places. "Ew!" he couldn't help but yell as he threw the shorts from him. His heart raced and a dozen questions filled his mind.

The inside of the shorts were crusted with old cum. He put a hand over his mouth, trying not to gag. How long had it been rotting under the bed? And how in hell...

He was going to kill Rachel the moment she had her body back.

"Oh, and by the way, Rachel is definitely straight! Just so you know," Rachel added when she was at the top of the stairs.

"She is? Oh good, thanks Kurt, I was worried about that," Finn thanked her. "Hey wait, you have horrible gay-dar, how do you-" He was cut off when Rachel slammed the door and exhaled.

"So, Kurt-"

"What the fuck are these?" Kurt demanded, holding up the soiled clothes with two fingers.

Rachel paled. "That was _another_ thing we needed to talk about."

"So tell me Rachel, how much have you fucked up my life?"

Her lips trembled, beginnings of words sputtering out.

"Spit it out Rachel!" Kurt screamed.

"Blaine broke up with me today!"

Kurt was silent. His entire body went lax and he fell onto the bed.

Rachel picked at her dark blue slacks. "Well, he said 'taking a break,' but-but I'm going to get him back Kurt, I pro-"

"What are with the shorts then?" Kurt asked numbly, eyes unfocused.

Rachel scratched at the back of her neck. "A few weeks ago... Blaine and I -for lack of a better word- dry humped in the boy's locker room after gym class. But he started it and we didn't even kiss!"

"Wow Rachel! What a consolation! You didn't kiss the love of my life, but you let yourself jizz like a horny 13 year old! Then you make him hate me! Pray tell how in hell you got him to hate me," Kurt's voice cracked.

"I accidentally led a boy on, Derek Prince, after he asked me out in French. I don't speak French Kurt! How was I supposed to know what he was talking about?"

"And now he won't talk to you?"

"I've been texting him all day and calling and he won't answer. I'm trying everything Kurt I promise I-"

Kurt put a hand over his mouth, body convulsing. He slid off the bed and slumped onto the ground, shaking.

"Kurt, I-"

"I HATE YOU!" he screamed at her, now clutching his stomach. He ran to the bathroom and threw up, forgetting the long hair he now possessed which fell partly into the porcelin. "Fuck you, fuck you Rachel," he yelled between wretches. When he was done he wiped a hand over his eyes and mouth smearing the eyeliner and mascara across his face. He washed his mouth out with water then ripped his old phone out of Rachel's hands, his nails scraping against her hand.

"I'm done with you," he said deadly. "Do you understand how much I love him? It's not some high school crush, I actually _love him!"_ Kurt said brokenly. "I don't know how or when we'll ever be in the right bodies again, but we should just pray that it happens naturally because I want nothing to do with you Rachel Berry. You've ruined my life. I love Blaine and now I can only hope he'll turn straight and give me a chance so that I can be with him again. Spring Break starts in two days and you better not talk in person to Blaine at all. I'm going to try to salvage our relationship through texts. If you dare talk to him, I will never acknowledge Finn ever again. I hate you," he finished. He turned and stalked out of the house, screaming "Piss off!" at Finn when he began to ask why "she" was here.

Rachel's bottom lip trembled and tears squeezed out as she clutched her own body, slowly sinking to the floor.

"I'm sorry," she squeaked out again into the emptiness.

**[3 Days Later] [Sunday]**

**Kurt**

**Sender; Blaine: So where are we right now?**

Kurt sighed in relief when Blaine finally returned his text with a civil answer. For three days he had only gotten the response of "Don't text me" or "I don't want to talk right now."

**Kurt: As I've told you in exactly 217 texts, I'm so sorry. I was so stressed out about the test we had taken that I wasn't really paying attention to what Derek was saying. I want to be back with you so bad, but I understand if you still want to be on a little break for now. **

Kurt bit at his now ruined nails as he awaited his response. He hadn't showered in days and had forced himself to stick strictly to texts instead of calling Blaine because then all Blaine would hear would be Rachel's voice. He hadn't spoken to Rachel at all and thankfully she had not tried to contact him either.

**Sender; Blaine: Okay. I think for this break we should stay apart though. But I think I'm okay with some texts here and there.**

**Kurt: That's perfect Blaine. Thank you. **

Kurt held his phone to his lips, willing himself to not send Blaine more texts. Maybe he could pick up these pieces if he was careful.

**Rachel [Wednesday]**

Rachel tapped her short nails against the glass bedside table. It had been 6 days since hers and Kurt's falling out and she had no idea what Kurt was doing right now. Kurt still had "her" phone and she guessed he was texting Blaine through it.

Thankfully though she wouldn't have to see Blaine till the following Monday because even though McKinley would be starting school again Thursday, Dalton was a private school and could give their students more days off for Spring Break.

Unfortunately she would have to contact Kurt at some point to know where he and Blaine stood by Monday. But that could wait.

"Kurt," Burt called.

"Yeah Dad?" Rachel responded. Her heart quickly squeezed, longing for her own two dads.

"Your um... your magazine came in. I, uh, I'll leave it on the steps for you," Burt mumbled awkwardly, his feet padding away from the stairwell.

_Magazine?_ Rachel got up from the bed and got to the steps, grabbing the thick glossy magazine. She smirked a bit looking at the big white letters that spelled "OUT" over a picture of a half-naked man.

She flipped it open curiously. A few minutes in she felt "Herman" rousing. She had named Kurt's dick Herman because she refused to acknowledge it as "her" dick and it was even worse calling it "Kurt's dick."

"Stop," she whispered to it, but it was already half-hard. With a sigh she closed the magazine and locked her bedroom door. She pushed her pants down to her ankles, staring at the protrusion under the dark red boxers. She laid back on the bed trying to cool down, but she soon understood that this was not going to go away by itself. For days now she had been able to ignore Herman's frequent interruptions, though she knew its' patience was running thin. Also, she was just too tired to fight it anymore, she knew she would have to give in at some point.

If Kurt didn't want to know her anymore, then fine. She could handle being a male by herself without his help. She skimmed through the magazine again, letting Herman get revved up so she wouldn't have to do this for long. She still didn't know how big Herman could get so she just looked at the sexy male photoshoot until she just had to touch it.

Closing her eyes she bit down on her lip and stroked it once. She couldn't hold back the thrill of ecstasy that shivered up her spine. Her legs fell apart a little wider giving her better access to the underside as it curved upwards. She was a bit disgusted that her ass was against the bare sheets then remembered that she had to put them in the wash later anyways. She made a fist around the base then slid it up, getting used to the feeling. She did that a few more times until her body told her she needed something more. She tried not lifting her hand from Herman and instead brought it back down the shaft. Her head fell back against the pillows. This was so much easier than masturbating as a woman. She closed her eyes and let her hand do what felt good. She tried massaging under the head which she quickly found was amazing and gently dragging her nails on the underside.

Soon enough her forehead beaded with sweat and she grimaced when she felt the precum dribble onto her fist. She refused to open her eyes knowing that seeing Kurt's dick, which it really was, in her hand hard and leaking would just set her back to the start. That wonderful climbing feeling built up hot in her stomach and she had a random flash of Finn having sex with her in her female body.

She cried out once the wave crashed over her and her cum splashed out. Her eyes opened in shock as semen came from Herman all the while she rode out her climax, her other hand clutching at the sheets. Her entire body went lax and everything felt extremely quiet. She felt a bit woozy and she told herself she needed to get up and wash her hands, but suddenly, she was asleep.

* * *

><p><strong>Not gunna lie I teared up a little when I had to put myself in Kurt's place and create memories of his mother. *le sad*<strong>

**Finals have started so I'll try to get a chapter up as soon as I can, but it may be a little while. I love you all and please send reviews, you don't understand how much of a help they are for my confidence in writing this story and everything!**

**BTW, check out my other stories! :)**


	7. Text

**Sorry for the lack of updates, I wasn't able to get much writing done the last week because I was on vacation.**

**Just a reminder, Kurt and Rachel aren't speaking right now but Kurt took his phone from Rachel and is now trying to salvage his relationship with Blaine through texts since he can't call him.**

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt<strong>

**Kurt to Blaine: G2g, Finn can't figure out how to use the blender again. Talk to you later. :)**

Kurt flipped the phone closed and walked into Glee club, putting his purple satchel down beside him and crossing his legs. McKinley's classes started again about a week before Dalton's so he had to make Blaine think that, as Kurt, a Dalton student, he was still on vacation as well since he was using his old phone which he stole from Rachel. Unfortunately, he was stuck as Rachel and had to go to school.

"Okay guys, we really have to bang out the rest of these songs because Nationals is rapidly approaching. It may seem like a while from now since we just won Regionals, but it will be here like nothing if we're not careful."

The room went quiet and Kurt looked around after a minute, waiting.

"Rachel?"

"Yeah?" Kurt responded, only about a half-second off this time.

"Is there anything you'd like to say?" Mr. Schue asked.

"Why?" Kurt said, raising an eyebrow.

"Because you always start off the class with some monologue about what songs we're going to sing or something," Santana filled in.

"Oh. Well, um, I don't have any suggestions for today I guess," Kurt said with a shrug.

The club exchanged looks then Schue began passing out papers.

"What is this?" Kurt asked as soon as the packet got into his hands. "Songs from Disney?"

Once again everyone looked at him.

"Rachel, you're the one who suggested it and made us watch a movie you made explaining why Disney songs would be good to sing at Nationals!"

Kurt blushed. So that's why there were so many Disney movies piled up on Rachel's bedside table.

Brad began playing a few chords, everyone looking at "Rachel" expectantly. "Ready when you are," Schue said, waiting.

Kurt cleared his throat then sang the first few lines.

**Look at me  
>You may think you see<br>Who I really am  
>But you'll never know me <strong>

Brad stopped playing.

"Rachel, are you alright?" Mr. Schue asked.

Kurt swallowed. He hadn't exactly been the happiest of people lately and hadn't sung since he was in his own body last. He had no idea how to control Rachel's voice and the lines he had just sang came out extremely high. He continued, smiling as if he did it on purpose.

**Every day  
>It's as if I play a part<br>Now I see  
>If I wear a mask<br>I can fool the world  
>But I cannot fool my heart <strong>

Now he was too low. 

Who is that girl I see  
>Staring straight back at me?<p>

**When will my reflection show  
>Who I am inside? <strong>

2 beats and his voice ran out. Normally he could hold a note out forever, but apparently he hadn't taken a big enough breath for Rachel's vocal chords.

"Um, Rachel, do you want me to give this solo to someone else? No offense, but I really feel that Santana would sound do a very nice job at it."

Kurt closed his eyes knowing that Rachel would fight to the death to keep a solo, but he was just so... tired. He couldn't do it.

"I think that's a great idea Mr. Schue."

Kurt swore he could hear the choir's jaws dropping.

Mr. Schue seemed taken aback, having been ready to argue with Rachel. "Oh, okay. Um, Santana, will you take it from here?" he asked, glancing again at Kurt (whom he believed was Rachel) as if "she" was trying to play a trick on him.

Kurt raised his hand.

"Yes Rachel," Mr. Schue sighed, knowing that now she was going to argue.

Kurt flinched at the name. "Mr. Schue... can I go home?"

The teacher's mouth opened, but he couldn't form words. Rachel? Wanting to leave early? He nodded even though he assumed "Rachel" didn't see since she had already collected her things and left.

Kurt walked out of the school and slipped off his heels, walking barefoot back "home." He wiped away a tear, wishing he could _actually_ go home. Also, he had forgotten that Rachel wasn't picking him up from school anymore and he stayed after for Glee so the bus and late bus had already gone. He could have called one of his "dads," but they knew Rachel would never leave a rehearsal early. His old phone buzzed in his pocket.

**Sender; Blaine: Wait, Finn is home with you? I thought he was back in school? **

Kurt face-palmed then tapped out another response. All this lying was going to bite him in the butt one day. He was pretending to be Rachel in real life, but had to pretend to be himself through texts to Blaine. This was all giving him a headache.

**Kurt: Sorry, I forgot to tell you that Finn stayed home with me because Carole said he could skip a day.**

Suddenly Rachel's phone rang in his pocket. He took it out and it was an unfamiliar number. Anytime Rachel's phone rang it was always Finn which he ignored.

"Hello?"

"_Kurt?"_ his voice asked him.

"What is it Rachel?" he said rudely.

"_I'm sorry,"_ she blurted.

"Awesome," he said in a chipper tone then hung up, jamming the phone back into his purse.

He kept walking, but had to stop when the phone rung again.

"_Don't hang up!"_

"Rachel! What a pleasant surprise! How have you ruined me further?"

"_Stop Kurt. Do you need me to sing 'Goodnight, Goodnight' to you to realize how sorry I am?" _

"Um, no."

"_Kurt, we can't try to live our lives separately... and it's been weeks now so I think maybe... maybe we should tell Blaine...and possibly Finn"_

Kurt bit on his mango-flavored bottom lip. He had been wanting to ask Rachel that for days ever since he and Blaine had been speaking again. He knew Blaine was going to get sick of only texts sooner or later and since there didn't seem to be any going back to their own bodies anytime soon, he _needed_ to make Blaine accept him in some way.

"I'm willing to tell Blaine, but I don't think Finn could handle it or keep it a secret. Not yet at least."

"_I thought of that too. Well, telling Blaine is another part of my sincere apology and the least I can do for you since I messed it up so badly."_

"Don't remind me. So when do you want to do this?"

"_Is tonight alright? The sooner the better I suppose." _

"Sure, let's do this."

**Rachel**

"I don't know what to do anymore!" Finn said when he came home from Glee club. He threw his backpack onto the couch and sat down beside Rachel, legs touching. He reached into her bowl of popcorn and stuffed some into his mouth, totally unaware of the little sparks going off in Rachel's mind. "I mean, I'm always trying to call Rachel, but she won't pick up and if I text her she'll just answer something stupid like 'L-O-L.' I can barely start a conversation with her in school because she's always so depressed and I was going to corner her after Glee, but she left early!" he said, all through a mouth of popcorn. "What are you watching?"

"A documentary about Patty Lupone."

"Didn't you just see that a few weeks ago? It's still on the DVR."

Rachel smirked. Of course Kurt would have saved it. She just happened to see it on the E! Network.

"I'm sure she'll come around," Rachel said. "Don't give up on her."

"Why do you keep saying that?" he asked. "She's obviously not interested anymore, even if I do still really love her, I think, and you keep telling me to go after her."

Rachel looked back at the TV. "Let's just say that I know Rachel very well, and she's going through some stuff, just wait a bit longer."

Finn sighed and leaned back into the couch, kicking his shoes off. "You've been saying that for weeks. This is the longest PMS I've ever seen."

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry it was short, this was a transitional chapter and next will be when Blaine finds out! But will be accept it? DUN-DUN-DUNNNNN!<strong>

**Please review! I know it is summer and you may not review, but please go back and review some other time even if you can't now!**

**Hope you enjoyed this a bit! Sorry for the wait! Next chapter should be sometime this week (and sorry for the delay on my other stories).**


	8. Tell

**Kurt and Rachel**

**Kurt: Rachel and I need to explain some things to you. Can you come over tonight? Around 6?**

Kurt bounced his phone in his palm and Rachel played with her short hair while they awaited Blaine's response.

**Sender; Blaine: Yeah. Sure. What's it about, can I have a bit of a heads up?**

Kurt read the message aloud to Rachel, then they decided that this would be a safe response;

**Kurt: Something had happened between Rachel and I that is really difficult and confusing to explain. **

**Sender; Blaine: ...I'll see you in 45 minutes I guess.**

Kurt sat in the overstuffed chair opposite Rachel who was laying back on the couch, giant sweatpants practically pooling around her waist. Kurt absentmindedly pulled up the cami that was under his V-neck graphic tee, but looked up when Rachel scratched at her crotch.

"Ew! Stop that!" Kurt scolded. "Only disgusting pubescent boys who don't shower regularly do that!" Kurt paused and twisted his mouth to the side, contemplating. "Well, I mean, at least don't do it when there is someone around."

Rachel groaned. "I can't help it! It itches like crazy!"

Now Kurt was concerned. Not really for Rachel since he was still kinda pissed at her, but for the state of his penis when and if he ever got it back. "Why?"

Rachel glared at him. "If I knew _why _do you think I would allow myself such torture? That's why I bought these big pants today so that Herm-I mean your dick can breathe or what. "Let me take a look at it," he grumbled. He automatically began pulling down Rachel's pants.

"Stop!"

Kurt raised an eyebrow like how he used to in his old body. "What? It's not like I haven't seen it before. I still cringe when I think of you seeing 'me' naked."

Rachel blushed a bit. "Oh. Yeah, right."

Kurt grimaced. "No boxers? Ew."

Rachel blushed a bit more. "I thought guys were allowed to do that in sweatpants or something."

Kurt rolled his eyes then wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Good lord Rachel! Do you even wash down there?" Kurt gagged. "Oh my god if my dick is infected, I'm having sex with Noah, you're bound to catch something from him."

"Shut up! Just tell me how to fix it! And I do try to clean it, but I don't want to hurt it because it's so sensitive and it itches insanely."

Kurt sighed. "I know you're not exactly a pro at being a man, but believe it or not, you really need to keep up on cleaning well down there. I'm not circumcised so you need to be careful, it could get infected easier."

Rachel pulled her pants back up and looked anywhere but at Kurt. "Can you teach me then? No offense, but I didn't really know that guys had to clean as well as woman do." She coughed from the awkwardness.

"I might as well, I can't have you scratching yourself in front of Blaine."

After an incredibly odd tutorial from Kurt on how to pull back the foreskin a bit to flush out the dirt and other tips on the care and cleanliness of manhood, Rachel felt much better.

Kurt searched around for baby powder to relieve any itching Rachel might have leftover and dry up any infections that may have begun.

Rachel pulled at the waistband of her fresh boxers and tapped out a generous amount of the powder.

"Oh, take off those sweats, they may have bacteria in them. Put on these jeans, " Kurt prompted, throwing a pair at Rachel.

As Rachel began stepping into the jeans, Kurt noticed something on her inner thigh. "What's that?" Kurt asked, pulling the jeans down again without any warning.

"Jeez Kurt, stop! You're kinda crossing a line into my personal territory now! I'm getting uncomfortable."

Kurt snorted. "Your personal territory is _my _personal territory!"

"Nnng! Stop! I'm sure it's just a birthmark that never saw or something, Blaine is going to be here any second," Rachel grunted, pushing his face away.

"You stop! Just let me look, it will just take me a second, I don't want anything happening to my body." He put his head annoying close to 'Herman,' as Rachel referred to it, and tugged at Kurt's long hair, trying to get him away.

"I'm almost done," he said irritably.

"Then finish alread-_Blaine!_" Rachel gasped as the curly hair-ed Warbler suddenly threw open the bathroom door.

"I knew it!" Blaine yelled, covering his mouth. "You two are fucking!" He angrily wiped at his eyes, now bright red.

"Blaine, no we-" Kurt began, trying to get up, but his long hair suddenly caught in the zipper of Rachel's jeans when he whipped his head around. "Shit! Ow!"

"No! I don't want to hear anymore of this! So this is why you've been so odd lately!" Blaine said turning on his heels and stalking out of the bathroom.

"Blaine no!" Kurt screeched. He propelled forward, ignoring the pain in his scalp when he ripped himself loose from the jean's fly, a small chunk of hair left behind. "Blaine!" he ran out and stumbled down the front porch steps, looking for where he went. "Blaine!" he screamed again. He ran outside and saw Blaine running to his car. "Blaine!" he screamed one last time, voice high with grief.

"Really?" Blaine said weakly. "Where's Kurt, why isn't _he_ coming after me? Just leaving you to fight his battles, Rachel?"

The word "Rachel" hit Kurt in the gut, jogging him back into reality. He was not Kurt anymore, right now all Blaine saw was a tear-stained Rachel screeching bloody murder. Kurt didn't know what to do.

Blaine's eyes flitted up from Kurt when Rachel appeared in the doorway next to Kurt who was kneeling. He sprinted to his car and drove off.

"Give me my phone," Kurt said thickly. He began to dial Blaine then cursed because he remembered all Blaine would hear is Rachel's voice. Instead he flipped his phone up and tapped out a text as fast as he could, breaking a nail in the process.

**Kurt: Blaine, I know that that lppked bad bt it was NOT what u think1!**

**Sender; Blaine: Then plz explain what it was! Actually, no, I dpn't care, Im throu w/ u!**

**Kurt: I rlly cnat! I know, im an ass, but NOTHING is happening wt Rachel and I.**

**Sender; Blaine: Sure didnt look like that!**

Kurt started typing out a response when Blaine texted back again.

**Sender; Blaine: Look, if you say that it wasn't it, then I know it couldn't have been. But I just want to know what it actually was.**

**Kurt: She was just picking something off the ground and her hair got stuck in my fly.**

**Sender; Blaine: STOP LYING TO ME! Your dick was out**

Kurt sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, messing up his eyeliner, but not caring. Rachel kept asking what was happening, but he was too stressed to answer her.

**Kurt: I didn't mean to lie. It's just embarrassing, I wasn't sure if I had a bit of an infection and I wanted her to check it out for me.**

Kurt bit on his nails as Blaine took a while to reply.

**Kurt: I love you so much. I'm just going through some things right now. I'm so sorry.**

**Sender; Blaine: Please tell me what's going on then! Uve been acting so odd lately and I want to help u!**

Kurt gnawed on one nail as he replied.

**Kurt: If u want me to explain everything, and I mean every last detail, then ur going to hve to come back.**

**Blaine: No Kurt. I'm done. Don't text me anymore. Goodbye. **

Kurt tapped out 5 texts within 8 minutes, none of them being replied. Panicking, he droned out Rachel with some humming and dialed Blaine's number, needing to hear his voice. Still no answer.

He forced himself not to hyperventilate and lunged at Rachel's phone and pressing it into her palm. "Call him and then say everything that I say! He won't believe me if he hears your voice!"

"_Rachel? Still fighting his battles?"_ Blaine said, picking up after one ring.

"Tell him it's me," Kurt whispered, straining to hear Blaine's voice.

"No, it's... me," Rachel said. "Look Blaine, it wasn't what you saw."

Kurt nodded wildly. "Tell him he needs to come back."

"You need to come bac-"

"_Why? Give me a reason to."_

"I love you," Kurt said.

"Because I love you," Rachel relayed.

Blaine laughed grimly. "Oh yes, you sound so convincing."

"No really, Blaine. I love you," she said, trying with more conviction.

Another dark chuckle. "You're not the Kurt I fell in love with. It's weird, but I can even tell you're different from your tone. You're a totally different person and I can't fathom what could have happened overnight, but you're not him anymore. Goodbye Kurt."

"No!" Kurt screamed. "No!"

"No! Nonono, Blaine, don't hang up I-"

Kurt started crying, whimpering "No, no, please, no." Rachel's own heart was breaking.

"Tell him, tell him," Kurt choked out. He gasped for air.

"Tell him what?" Rachel asked desperately, putting her hand over the receiver.

"Everything," Kurt choked out and took the phone from her. "Blaine?" he said with a watery voice. "It's me."

"Rachel?"

Kurt swallowed. "No... Blaine, listen. It's... _me_."

There was a silence that seemed to stretch into forever. Kurt listened patiently to Blaine's breathing.

"Kurt," Blaine finally said. It was not a question.

Kurt nodded, as if Blaine could see. "Yes."

"But...but...h-h-how what?" Blaine sputtered out, mind clearly reeling.

Kurt breathed heavily into the phone. "I don't know. We don't know." A nervous laugh escaped from his lips. "Please. Will you come back now?"

Kurt sat staring ahead into space as they waited for Blaine to come back. Rachel opened the door for Blaine when she saw him pull into the driveway. He sat in his car for a moment, then walked into the house. He stopped and stared at Rachel, doing that weird stare again and seeming to have finally found what he had been looking for. "Hi, Rachel," he said, unsure.

"Blaine?" Kurt whispered, standing up shakily and smoothing down his skirt. He put his hands behind his back and swallowed, looking down. "It's me."

Blaine inhaled and exhaled before putting a hand to his chest.

"Kurt?" Blaine squeaked out, tears falling from his eyes.

"Yes," Kurt replied sincerely, tears welling up as well.

"I thought I'd never see you again," Blaine said, running to Kurt and picking up his smaller form. "I knew it wasn't you," he said wrapping his arms around Kurt in a bone-crushing hug which Kurt returned with the same vigor. "I missed you so much, Kurt," Blaine finished before closing his eyes and pressing his lips against Kurt's without giving it a second thought.

Kurt enjoyed the feeling of kissing Blaine again after so long. He didn't even remember he was stuck in Rachel's body. He closed his eyes as well and tangled his fingers into Blaine's hair, deepening the kiss.

Rachel stood off to the side as the two cried together for a few moments. Blaine finally took Kurt's face in his hands, pushing his thin hair back. Blaine smiled, looking into Kurt's brown eyes. "There you are. I've missed you. There you are."

"I've missed you too, Blaine."

And they kissed again.

* * *

><p><strong>I wrote so much today! Oh my god! <strong>

**Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. This is NOT the end! There is still PLENTY to come! **

**(And there is nothing on Rachel's inner thigh, it was probably just a beauty mark or something)**

**PLEASE review! Even if you go back and review later, please review at some point!**


	9. Switch

**Kurt and Rachel**

Blaine sat next to Kurt, clutching his peach tea in his hands, still staring at his "boyfriend."

"So how long ago did this happen?" he asked.

"The day of our three-month anniversary," Kurt said. "I'm sorry. That's why I told Rachel to act weird, because... well, you know."

Blaine nodded. "Do you two know how the hell this happened?"

They both shook their heads. "I thought it was a dream at first," Rachel began. "But obviously it isn't. It just has to be some weird trick of fate and we have no idea how to go back to normal."

"Have you tried figuring out how this may have happened?"

Kurt nodded. "I must have logged at least 24 hours of searching websites for an answer to this mess. But like Rachel said, it must have been some weird coincidence or something."

Blaine cleared his throat. "So, um, Rachel," he began, looking at Kurt's body. "Was it you in the gym locker room that day..." Blaine trailed off, not wanting to have to explain further.

Rachel's cheeks turned bright red under his fair skin. "Um.. yeah. Sorry."

"No problem," Blaine uttered, coughing a bit from the awkwardness, his own olive complexion growing pink. "But that is why I was upset that day, because it seemed like I had just done that with a different person, which apparently I did, and it scared the living shit out of me."

Rachel walked over to Blaine and took his hand. "And I'm so sorry about that time in the French class with Derek. I don't know any French whatsoever and had no idea what Derek was telling me. I'm so sorry that I caused all this confusion."

Blaine took Kurt's hand with his other. "It's okay Rachel, now that everything is settled, and now that I have Kurt back." Blaine started to lean into Kurt when he stopped himself and looked at Rachel. "Um, Rachel do you care if I kiss... 'you' again?"

Rachel went back to her own seat. "Blaine, you're not kissing me, so to speak, you're kissing Kurt and I never want to be in the way of your guy's relationship ever again."

"Merci," Kurt said then kissed Blaine.

"Speaking of which Kurt... your um, French grade is kind of plummeting," Rachel said.

Kurt sighed, breaking away from Blaine and resting his forehead on his shoulder. "Blaine, baby, please help her in school."

**Rachel**

"So have you thought about telling Finn?" Blaine asked, opening the door for Rachel out of habit. She stepped into the Dalton cafeteria, putting her satchel into one of the seats.

"Yeah, but I truly don't think he could handle it. And with me flirting with him out of habit, the poor boy thinks he getting a repercussion of Kurt's infatuation from last year."

"That must be awkward," Blaine said, sipping his coffee.

"Yeah... especially when I walk on him taking a shower and he has a nasty habit of only closing the see-through shower curtain and forgetting the opaque one."

"Oh my god."

"Yeah and when I try to hint to him that I can pretty much see everything, he doesn't seem to care and will ask me for a washcloth of something."

Blaine was laughing, wiping at a dribble of coffee that had escaped his lips.

"It's kind of touching though, you know, how comfortable he is around Kurt. He's made such a leap from last year. That's why I'm so afraid of setting Finn back on all the progress he's made."

Blaine nodded. "Well, think about it. Kurt seems him all the time now, at meals, movie nights, they live together! And when I've seen them together, they really connect. Finn is protective of Kurt and Kurt enjoys-" Blaine cut off, unsure if he was allowed to say.

"What?"

"I guess since you are 'Kurt' for now, it is your right to know this. Kurt's mom had a miscarriage when Kurt was 4 years old. Kurt told me that his mom would always promise him that one day he was going to have a little brother or sister... but obviously she died before she could have anymore kids. Kurt said he always secretly wanted a sibling and over the last few months, because Finn has become so comfortable around him, it has kinda fulfilled that dream of his."

Rachel digested his information. She had always seen Kurt as such an independent individual, she never imaged that he would be the kind of person who would want a brother or sister. She knew how he felt to want that. She wrote a song about it for god's-

Suddenly Rachel was staring at Quinn who was staring back with a quizzical expression. She was in Spanish class and all she knew was that her feet were killing her from the bright purple stilettos strapped to her feet and her vision was fuzzy around the edges.

"Rachel?" Quinn asked just as Rachel heard Blaine ask the same thing.

She was back in Dalton, the rest of Blaine's coffee spilled onto the table.

"Kurt? Kurt? Is that you?" Blaine was asking her, his hands gripping her arms. He was trying to keep his voice down, but it was hard to contain his excitement.

"Blaine?" Rachel said.

Blaine's face fell. "Nope, that's Rachel again."

"What happened?" she asked.

"You went cross-eyed and suddenly you looked at me and whispered 'Blaine,' then started to reach out for me, but then your hand fell and knocked over my coffee. But I don't think it was you. Did you and Kurt momentarily switch bodies again."

Rachel grabbed at her head which was pounding. "Yeah, I think so. What time is it?"

Blaine looked down at his watch. "11 o'clock."

Rachel shook her head. "Yes, I think we did because I was sitting in Spanish class, and I would have been in that class if I was in my regular body. That was weird." She fished a pill out of her pocket, then swallowed it with a swig of water. "By the way, Blaine, how did you know it was Kurt for those few seconds?"

Blaine shrugged. "I can't explain it. I just know. You two do have a lot in common, but when it comes to how you speak and move, you couldn't be more different."

Rachel thought about what he was saying. "Maybe that was why we switched for a moment. When we switched I was thinking about how I knew how he felt about wanting a sibling. Maybe that's part of the-"

"Hey guys," Wes said as he sat down across from the couple followed by Jeff and David.

"So Kurt, I haven't heard you hit the high-notes lately? You and Blaine fighting or something?" Jeff asked with a crude wink.

Rachel's (Kurt's) phone buzzed, she almost forgot that Kurt had given it back to her now that he didn't need to text Blaine anymore.

**Sender; Rachel: WTF JUST HAPPENED? WAS THAT A VISION OR DID I JUST SEE BLAINE FOR REAL?**

* * *

><p>When Rachel joined Blaine in gym class later that week, there was a different air surrounding them than before when Blaine thought it was Kurt. They did not speak of what had happened all that time ago, but still, changing in front of each other was a bit awkward.<p>

Without pointing it out, Blaine turned his back when they changed now and wordlessly started walking to the urinals.

Rachel followed him, having to go as well. Blaine was at the far right one again and she automatically started walking towards him when Kurt's words about not standing next to someone when they pee was a big no-no in the boy world. Rachel walked into a stall and grabbed a bit of the toilet paper, placing it in her palm before aiming with precision at the porcelain.

Blaine glanced over to check on her then rolled his eyes. He finished then went over to Rachel after looking over to make sure no one was looking. "Rachel, you don't need the toilet paper."

She raised an eyebrow. "You expect me to pee out in the open with my bare hands?"

Blaine nodded. "No offense, but you didn't realize that no one does that? But I guess it is good that you aren't looking at other guy's junk so, point for you."

Rachel tossed the tissue paper into the garbage then aimed again.

Blaine turned his back and waited for her to finish.

"Blaine," she whispered.

"Hm?"

"I can't do this, you are giving my performance anxiety. Not that that has ever been a problem because of my extensive work in the arts, but this is not yet a role I am accustomed to."

"Just pee, it's not that hard."

"But you're standing right there."

Blaine took a few steps away and let her continue. He glanced at her again when he noticed her hands moving.

Blaine practically jumped at her. "Stop!"

"What? I'm just shaking the drops away."

Blaine sighed and hurriedly slapped Rachel's hand away and tucked 'Herman' back into Kurt's gym shorts.

"Haven't you heard of two shakes and you're playing with it?"

Rachel blinked. "Sorry, I totally just missed the last thing you said. Did you just grab-"

"Rachel," Blaine said quietly so no one could hear him say her name. "I'm Kurt's boyfriend, I've been there... not all the way, but I assure you, I've been there. But also as his boyfriend, I need to make sure he at least doesn't get a bad bathroom equitable reputation."

Rachel nodded. "Why are there do many rules in the guy's bathroom?"

"I-" Blaine felt a presence behind him and looked.

Jeff stood wide-eyed, one hand frozen half-way from pulling down his zipper. After a moment he pulled it back up and turned on his heel to leave. "I don't even have to go anymore," he said with a sigh. "I have no problem with you guys being boyfriends and all, but Blaine, please never tell me why you just grabbed Kurt's dick." And with that he left.

* * *

><p><strong>I promise next chapter will be better, there were just a few things I needed to cover. Please still leve reviews though! I can't believe how many of you are actually reading this story! There's over 1,000 of you! Can you all leave reviews please? At least once per reader? :D <strong>

**I feel so popular on Fanfiction. XD**

**And I'm just pointing out that I "named" Kurt's dick Herman as a weird mini-tribute to "McKlainley High" by Beautifulwhatsyourhurry which is hands down my favorite Fanfiction story EVER! And the sequel to it. In her story Herman is the name of Kurt and Blaine's potted plant. It's so wonderful! **

**'Herman' was originally named Chris, and then it was Darren, and finally it became Herman. **


	10. Chicken

**I must give some awards out. My first award goes to **riverkirby** who used the term "lol" 19 times in her review! (awesome review by the way, thank you!) I also must give an award to **Klainelover12** who I think has read and reviewed all my stories by now! You rock! And finally to **mardie186**, I can always expect a review from you, thanks love! **

**And thank you soooooo much to all the wonderful people who reviews last chapter! I'm so glad I'm getting reviews from people I haven't heard from before. You all make my heart go wee, like super wee! XD**

**Anyone want to start a fan club to this or something? XD There are over 2,000 readers of this story and it BLOWS MY MIND! Please, keep reviewing! And please, I'd love to hear from every one of my readers at least once! PLEASE!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt<strong>

"You don't know how much I've missed this," Kurt breathed, attaching his lips to Blaine's again.

Blaine moaned in response, being careful not to brush his hands over Kurt's boobs. "And I'm getting used to your perfume. I do miss your Acqua Di Gio cologne, but I can get used to this. There's a lot of things I think I can get used to," Blaine told Kurt suggestively.

"Oh really?" Kurt said with a raised eyebrow. "Touch them."

"Touch what?"

"My boobs."

Blaine grimaced. "Why?"

Kurt rolled his brown eyes. "I knew you wouldn't."

Accepting his challenge, Blaine grabbed Kurt's breasts and gave them a quick squeeze. "There."

"Hmm, that felt good," Kurt mused, poking at the soft lumps. "I really hate having a flat crotch though, it's so boring."

"Tell me about it," Blaine mumbled, then grinned to make sure Kurt knew he was joking.

Kurt took it a bit too seriously though and looked away. "If this never changes... If I'm like this forever... I'm going to ask Rachel t-to... I'll ask Rachel to let me go through transgender surgery, because I can't bear to lose you, Blaine," Kurt stuttered, tears welling up.

"But you and Rachel switched back for a moment the other day! That must mean that there is at least a chance you'll switch back for good again."

"But what if we don't!" Kurt said, almost hysterical.

An amused grin spread over Blaine's face. He gently cupped Kurt's face. "Kurt, I love you."

Kurt opened his mouth to speak, but Blaine stopped him.

"Listen. I love _you._"

Kurt stared into Blaine's eyes, understanding what he meant.

"Everything I've ever said to you, Kurt, is true. I fell in love with _you_ and to me, it doesn't matter what you look like as long as it's still you: the beautiful guy who knocked me off my feet on the stairwell."

Kurt shook his head. "Blaine, you're gay, we could never-"

"Then I guess you're the bottom," he joked.

A grin flickered over Kurt's lips. "You know what I mean, Blaine."

Blaine hugged Kurt, still adjusting to him being the taller one. "I will always have a preference towards a different anatomy, but that's just physical. Our love is so much more than that." His voice shook with sincerity, making Kurt meld even closer to his boyfriend. "When I look into your eyes, all I see is the wonderful _man_ that I love and will do anything for, even if that is accepting a different body form. As long as you are still you."

"I love you," Kurt said firmly with another kiss.

"And I will always love you. No matter what."

* * *

><p><strong>Rachel<strong>

Rachel crouched in front of the oven, pushing on the timed oven light every 30 seconds to keep the inside lit. This was _not_ going to be the third chicken breast she burnt. She had already taken out the garbage twice to prevent Carole, Finn, or Burt from noticing that the usual mini-Julia Child was burning a simple chicken dinner. Rachel blamed it on her being a vegan and going against everything she stood for to keep up her charade of being Kurt. Also that her previous cooking skills consisted of tossing salads.

"Whatcha doing, kiddo?" Burt said with a less than normal vivacity to his voice.

"Um, the oven has been a bit temperamental today and I just want to make this chicken perfect since it's your favorite...Dad." Rachel peered up at Burt who was leaning against the counter top, without a beer and staring into the distance.

"12 years," he uttered, eyes glassy.

"D-dad?" Rachel said, letting the little light turn off this time.

"I still can't believe it sometimes," Burt said, sniffling. He wiped his palms on his overalls, not having changed from the shop yet. "At least it's not raining today, like it was the day she... she passed on."

Rachel stared at the black oven. She couldn't do this. She had no idea today was the anniversary of Kurt's mother's death. How was she supposed to act?

"Come here, my little man," Burt said, voice thick as he touched Rachel's shoulder. Going along with it, she stood up and hugged Burt. She had never heard such tender terms of endearment come from the burly shop-owner.

She tightened her hold around him as best as she could, trying to return his strong, enveloping hug. After at least a minute, Rachel expected Burt to pull away, but he didn't. She suspected that he and Kurt had these long hugs frequently.

When he finally loosened his hold, he put a hand on Rachel's upper arm. "How are you doing?" he asked, wiping away the single tear that had left his old eyes.

"I'm okay, Dad. I'm alright."

"Okay. Good. Are you sure? You're usually a lot more emotional, y'know, around this time. And you've been acting a bit strange lately."

"Yeah. I'm fine."

Burt nodded. "It's just. I miss her so much sometimes. But then I can see you and it's like, being able to see part of her again. Because even though people always say we look the same you really look more like her. You have my eye shape, but you have her color. And you are smart and funny like her. And also, I now have Carole and things are just so much better with her around. It really is. She, and Finn, really complete us again. This year is the first year with Carole during this anniversary, and I thought I would feel guilty, because there is always that little seed of guilt way down deep, but this year doesn't hurt as much as it usually does. Every day I think of your mother, but now I can think of Carole too and really appreciate that I have her now. Do you feel this way at all?" Burt was clearly trying to express his feelings, but as he had said on many occasions, he was not a man of words.

Rachel just nodded and quickly hugged Burt again, which soon turned into another long hug. She suddenly felt another pair of arms around them and looked to the side to see Carole.

Burt released Rachel and hugged his wife, kissing her hair before Carole broke away and looked in the oven.

"Um, Kurt?"

"Yes...Mom?"

"Did you bread this chicken?"

"...no."

"Did you broil it?" Carole glanced up at her step-son. "Then what did you do to the chicken?"

Rachel looked at the ground. "I took it out of the package, greased the pan and put it in."

"After you soaked it right?" Carole asked, clearly surprised by "Kurt's" lack of garnish...and sanitation.

Rachel blinked.

"Kurt...we can't eat this chicken."

"I'm sorry," Rachel said in a small voice. She was close to tears because of her lack of connect with Burt when he clearly needed it and hearing things she probably was not supposed to hear from Kurt's father, and now she had ruined dinner.

Carole hugged her quickly. "Sweetheart, it's okay. It's no big deal. I know today is a tough day. We'll order Chinese."

Rachel nodded weakly.

But now she really missed her own dads.

"GET ME SOME FRIED CHICKEN FINGERS!" Finn called from upstairs, somehow hearing "Chinese food" over the roar of his X-Box.


	11. Again

**Kurt**

"Hey you," Blaine greeted Kurt as he stepped into his boyfriend's car, feeling unable to leave McKinley soon enough. Today he had tried singing as Rachel again, but failed miserably, he got a D on Spanish quiz, and his period had come...again.

"Hey babe," Kurt said quickly pecking the driver on the cheek. "Where to? My house?" Kurt had gotten himself into a nasty habit of calling Rachel's dad's home "his house."

"Actually... I was going to suggest something different," Blaine began. He pulled out a brightly colored package with a big obnoxious bow on the front.

Kurt raised an eyebrow and pulled off the bow, already knowing what it was. He looked between Blaine and the present, trying to figure out if he was serious or not.

"Happy 4 month anniversary."

"Thanks...but, a Transformers toy? Sorry, I'm more of a Power Rangers person."

Blaine smiled. "It's not really the toy that it your present, but more of the symbol of it."

Kurt bit his tongue, about to make some jokes about Transformers being symbolic to their relationship.

"Think about it, the Transformer changes shape, but it's still totally bad ass either way. And no matter which form it takes, it's still the same robot. It's a really weird way of saying that I'll always think you're amazing, no matter what, and you'll always be you, to me."

"Aw, you're such a geek," Kurt said, planting a kiss on Blaine's freshly shaved cheek.

"I would have come up with something better, but it was kind of a last minute idea."

"It's perfect," Kurt said, putting it lovingly between his legs. "Thank you, Blaine." Kurt embraced his boyfriend and gave him another kiss. "I'm sorry I don't have anything for you, but I didn't know if we were still counting those 2 weeks of confusion."

Blaine pressed his forehead to Kurt's. "I never stopped loving you. And I know you never stopped loving me. So it all counts by my standards.

Kurt smiled like a Cheshire cat, not believing how great of a boyfriend he had. He held the gift tightly against his breast. "Thank you so mu-" His face suddenly, fell, eyes unfocusing.

"What's today?" Kurt asked automatically, eyes wide, but did not need an answer. He knew what day it was. Tears sprung to his eyes.

"Kurt? Kurt sweetheart what's wrong?"

"It's Thursday," he squeaked out, his breathing becoming shallower by the second. The toy slid off his lap and onto the floor, neither concerned with it at the moment.

"Yes?" Blaine asked, trying to get Kurt to look at him.

"My m-mother has been dead for 12 years since yesterday. H-how did I forget?" he started shaking, and had to hug himself. "How did I forget?"

"Kurt. You've had a lot on your mind. Don't beat yourself up about it. It's okay."

"My poor father," Kurt heaved. "I miss my daddy a lot right now, I'm sorry Blaine."

"Why are you saying sorry?"

"I don't know. I don't know. I'm just so fucking emotional right now and my period is heavy and I crave chocolate for the first time in my entire fucking life and I feel fat and I'm boated and I stabbed myself with the mascara wand today and-and I feel like I'm not me anymore and that I've become Rachel!"

Blaine forced Kurt to look at him so he could look into those brown eyes and see the boy he loved inside the feminine form. "Kurt, you are your own person. You are not Rachel. You have a staggering amount on your plate right now and because you've been away from your family you haven't been exposed to the mood changes around this time so it is totally acceptable for this to slip your mind."

"I forgot my own mother's death date, Blaine! My own mother!"

"That doesn't make you Rachel, Kurt."

Kurt sobbed into Blaine's lapel for a minute, gathering his emotions. "It's all these fucking hormones. This fucking sucks."

"I know, I know," Blaine chanted, rubbing Kurt's arms.

"But I am turning into Rachel," Kurt sniffed. "And soon enough you're never going to want me again."

Blaine waited a moment then whispered. "I still want you."

Kurt looked up through bleary eyes. "What?"

"I said. I still _want_ you. I never stopped wanting you. I don't want your body for release, Kurt. I just want to be connected with the real person that you are. This body is connected to Kurt Mutherfucking Hummel. And that's fine with me."

Kurt buried his face in Blaine's shirt. "You're gay, Blaine. You don't want this body."

Blaine breathed out a laugh. "We've already been over this, Kurt. It may take some adjusting, but I'm not trying to have sex with you... I want to make love to you. As in, make it mean something so much more than physical pleasure. I'm not saying right now. But maybe one day, when you feel ready...and aren't on your period."

Kurt smacked his chest, unable to hold back a bit of a smirk. They were still both uncertain though if they would actually ever attempt that. It was Rachel's body after all.

But at the same time, no one could know if it would ever actually be hers again.

* * *

><p><strong>Rachel<strong>

Rachel sat on her bed, filing at her nails and listening to Kurt's extensive collection of Broadway CDs. Just as "Together" from Gypsy started playing, there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," she said, putting the file on the beside table, afraid to open the drawer ever since she found Kurt's stash of lube in the back of it. That was scarring.

Finn walked in, not bothering to close the door. He plopped down next to Rachel and put an arm around her back. She suddenly found her face pressed against his muscular chest, wrapped in a wonderful bear hug. She breathed in, remembering his trademark smell of _boy_. Always a musky scent usually tinged with some teenage body spray. It was wonderful. She melted into his touch and forgot for a moment that she was stuck in Kurt's body.

"So how are you today?" Finn asked gently, with Rachel's (Kurt's) face still pressed against his chest. He finally released her, but she didn't move from his body for a good 15 seconds.

"I'm okay."

Finn kept an arm around Rachel's shoulders. "I know the um... anniversary was yesterday, but I haven't seen you crying. No offense, but you are usually a lot more emotional around this time and I want to make sure you're not going to explode on me."

Rachel coughed out a laugh and patted Finn's knee. "Thanks Finn, but I really am okay." Rachel hadn't contacted Kurt in the last few days and she hoped he was doing as well as she conveyed.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Finn," she said, a bit annoyed now.

Finn looked around the room, then stole another glance at Rachel.

"Finn! I'm fine! Sorry, but why do you care so much?" she snapped, instantly regretting it.

Finn paused, then said, "Because I care about you."

Rachel blinked and licked her lips, then looked down at her lap.

"Are those new curtains?" Finn suddenly asked.

Rachel looked over at the window. "Um, yeah. Do you like them?"

"They don't really go with the palette," Finn mumbled.

"What?"

Finn crossed his legs on the bed. "You know. The color palette you made me pick out for your room. We spent like 3 days on it. It was the first time we really, y'know, bonded. It was actually sorta fun." Finn shook his head when he realized he was going to talk about his feelings. Kurt was one of the only people he knew who was patient enough to listen to him try to express himself through words. Though with a father like Burt, Kurt probably had the patience of a saint when it came to things like that. "I feel like we haven't had that same connection lately. I kind of liked...having a brother."

Rachel frowned. "I'm sorry swee-erm, Finn."

Finn nodded. "Like, we haven't had warm milk together in forever and it was fun to listen to all the gossip you knew about. And especially since you and Blaine started dating, you haven't dragged me out to buy new jeans and ice cream which was both fun and annoying, but still mostly fun. And you don't even make breakfast anymore. I just want to make sure you're okay...I really want those blueberry muffins again because I can't eat anymore of Burt's toast."

Rachel smiled. Kurt and Finn had a much better relationship than she had known.

"Are you and Blaine okay?" Finn asked. "He's cool and all, but you know that I'd kick his ass if he ever hurt you."

"Blaine and I are fine."

"I never see him around...but I know Rachel has been around here more."

Rachel's eyes widened.

"H-how do you know that?"

"I smell her perfume when I get home from football practice. I know she leaves right after me and everyone else gets home...you and Rachel aren't...y'know."

"God no!" Rachel replied. "Why does everyone assume we're sleeping with each other?" she said mostly to herself.

"Well you two are kinda made for each other...if you weren't gay I mean," Finn replied to her rhetorical question.

Rachel blushed. She took Finn's hand. "Hey, Finn. You know, I think I forgot how to make blueberry muffins. Want to help me?"

His face lit up.

"Sure!"

* * *

><p>"Finn, did you put in the eggs?"<p>

"Yeah," Finn said, whisking the bowl with more skill than Rachel would have guessed.

She glanced at the trash where she had just thrown away a bag of flour. "Where are the eggshells?"

Finn stiffened. "In the bowl..." he said defeatedly, shoulders sagging.

Rachel laughed heartily, then stopped herself, but a bit too late.

Finn looked over at her as he picked out the pieces of shell that weren't obliterated yet. "Hey, you laughed just like Rachel right then. Weird."

Rachel looked in the bowl and shrugged. There was a lot of stiff looking pieces, but since the muffins were just for them, they weren't going to throw away the whole batter.

They put different ingredients into the batter in relative silence for a few more moments until Rachel asked where Finn put the last spoon.

"Oh crap, it was in the plastic bowl and I think I accidentally put it in the garbage." He spun around and pulled out the bag of flour that Rachel had thrown in there previously, but a bit of flour had still been in the bag. As he pulled it out, a thick puff of the powder coated Rachel's front. A big smile spread across both their faces and they began laughing again.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt," Finn giggled out.

Rachel calmly snatched the bag from his hands and ripped it open in Finn's face, (Rachel secretly liked that she was tall enough now to reach his face without standing on her toes) the last remains in the bag sprinkling his face, but not nearly as bad off as she was.

"Hey! That was an accident!" Finn said, shoving Rachel's shoulder.

"This will be too," Rachel said as she ran over to the sink and sprayed Finn in the face with the cold water.

"_Kurt!_" Finn yelled out between chuckles. He charged towards the smaller boy and turned the spray towards the holder's face.

"_Finn!_"

They broke out laughing as Rachel slid on the water and landed on her butt, Finn following her seconds later. They sat laughing until Rachel realized how close she was to him. She slowly placed a hand on his arm. Finn was still chuckling when he noticed Rachel's stare. His smile instantly disappeared.

"Kurt?"

The sound of his name slapped Rachel back into reality.

Finn suddenly looked angry and stood up. "Kurt, stop," he warned, then walked out briskly, throwing his too-short apron on the counter as he stormed out.

Rachel looked down at the tile, ashamed with herself. Finn must have seen the look of longing and adoration on her face and must think Kurt was reverting back to his old crush on him. She was quickly nervous of ruining his and Finn's relationship.

But was it already too late? Again.


	12. Touch

**HELLO! So I made a type of fan page/blog thing for my stories on Tumblr! Follow "pyrofrickenmaniac" and there is a link to the blog on my Bio. I have over 3,000 readers of this story! I want to meet you all! On the blog, I usually post about what I'm working on and ask for suggestions and stuff! Hope to see you there! **

**And please review! THERE ARE SO MANY OF YOU, JUST REVIEW AT LEAST ONCE, PLLLLEEEAAAASSSEEEEEE! **

**Enjoy your chappie of smut!**

* * *

><p>"There's so much that I understand now," Kurt said between mouthfuls of a decadent chocolate chip cookie. "Like about chocolate. It's like an orgasm in your mouth."<p>

Blaine frowned and raised an eyebrow.

Kurt smiled. "I mean like an orgasm _in_ your mouth. Not like... someone climaxing in your mouth."

"Ah." Blaine nodded. He reached to break off a piece of the oversized pastry.

"No! My cookie!" Kurt said, holding it close to himself. "You're not allowed to have something so wonderful and not appreciate it like I can now."

Blaine pouted and eyed the little melted chocolate crumb on the corner of Kurt's lip. When he brought the cookie down again, Blaine lunged in for a kiss and made sure to lick the corner.

"Mmm, it is good."

Kurt smirked and held out the cookie to Blaine to take a bite.

"And like you know how girls always talk about sore nipples and stuff?"

Blaine's eyes widened. "Now I do."

"I totally get that too now! I was in the halls today and some guy's textbook accidentally hit against my boobs in passing and I thought I was going to die. It felt like a kick to the crotch with steel toe boots... but to my boob!"

Blaine couldn't help but chuckle at that. He shifted his position on Kurt's (Rachel's) bed and turned onto his side, his hand propping up his head. "And about all the girl stuff you're going through, I wanted to help with that as well."

"Oh, pray tell."

Blaine reached over into his backpack and turned it upside down to dump out a book, a green package, and a rubber contraption.

Kurt picked up the rubbed douche and began laughing hysterically, but Blaine showed no shame. "Hey, I don't want you getting any infections. Yes, it was the most awkward trip to the CVS that I've ever taken, but it's all worth it to make sure you don't get sick."

Kurt picked up the package and read "Ultra Thick, with Wings!" He took one out and unfolded it. He burst out laughing again when it unfolded about 4 times.

"Is this a diaper or a pad?" Kurt shrieked, face bright red with laughter.

Blaine shrugged. "I just took the highest priced ones."

"Well yeah because I'm pretty sure that a pad this size could soak up the melting icebergs!"

Blaine smiled and joined Kurt in his hysterics when he realized how big the pad actually was.

Kurt flipped through the brightly colored book. "'The Care and Keeping Of You,'" he read aloud. "'Masturbating isn't just for boys. Boys masturbate on average at least twice a day...' Whoever wrote this has not seen me on my horny days," Kurt mumbled. He threw his arms around Blaine and pecked him on the cheek. "Thanks babe, but I think I'm good. And please return the douche, I really don't think I'm ever going to use it... I have a big enough douche right here," Kurt said in a loving tone, patting his boyfriend on the shoulder.

Blaine tilted his head to the side and said with a flamboyant flair, "Oh thanks, gal pal! But it's non-returnable... we should name it."

Kurt gave Blaine his best unamused stare. "If you want to name it, it's name is going to be named Anderson."

Blaine put up his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay, we don't have to name it."

Kurt threw the stuff to the bedside table and rubbed his fingers together in a feeble attempt of removing the melted chocolate from his hands.

Blaine wordlessly leaned over and sucked Kurt's fingers into his mouth, rubbing up and down the sides of his flanges with his eyes closed.

Kurt stared at how his boyfriend's dark eyelashes fanned out against his cheeks, and then focused on the wonderful sensation of Blaine's lips wrapped so beautifully around his fingers and how badly he wanted that hot, wet, mouth on his...

Kurt stifled back a moan, but Blaine heard it and pulled off.

"Sorry," Blaine said, voice husky. He cleared his throat.

"No problem," Kurt said sadly. "It's just so...weird."

Blaine smirked, then straddled Kurt's waist so he could get even closer to him. He kissed Kurt gently on the lips and pet his long hair, Blaine's legs on either side of Kurt's waist.

"What's wrong?" Blaine asked.

Kurt smirked. "I'm still not used to being turned on and not getting an erection. For a moment I sorta forgot about the situation and really liked the way you were sucking on my fingers. And then I'm waiting for the pull of blood and all I feel is the little rush of dampness," he admitted.

Blaine's lips twitched. "Mmmm, really..." he said, two fingers brushing against Kurt's clit through the fabric.

Kurt bit on his bottom lip and groaned. "Sttop, Blaine," he stuttered.

Blaine's breathing got a bit shallower as he leaned over Kurt and kissed his full lips again, poking his tongue in until Kurt exuberantly allowed entrance.  
>Kurt smiled against his lips and turned his head to the side so Blaine pulled his face away. "I'm quite jealous of Rachel," Kurt purred, running his hand down Blaine's abs. "She got an orgasm in my body from you, and I've gotten nothing so far."<p>

Blaine trailed his fingers along the side of Kurt's face. "I thought you said you wanted to talk sex over with Rachel first?"

Kurt shrugged. "I don't want to go all the way without consulting her first, but I don't think she would mind just _one_ orgasm."

Blaine watched in ecstasy as Kurt's large brown eyes suddenly grew very dark. Blaine missed his light eyes though. It was always an huge turn on to watch Kurt's pretty glasz eyes darken when he was turned on.

"I guess we kind of have to switch leg positions though," Kurt said softly, bringing his legs out from under Blaine and wrapping them around Blaine's waist. Blaine groaned and Kurt sighed as well when he felt the in-seam of Blaine's jeans pressing against his crotch.

Blaine leaned over Kurt again and kissed his ear, his earring tinkling. "I want to feel how wet you are," Blaine growled. Without looking he reached between their bodies and slipped his hand into Kurt's casual jeans.

Kurt sucked in a breath as Blaine's fingers brushed over his engorged and sensitive clit (but through the underwear) and placed his hand between Kurt's thighs.

Kurt shivered as Blaine breathed heavily next to his ear, his warmth seeping into his body. Kurt shivered again when Blaine started pressing wet kisses to Kurt's neck, barely moving his face back between kisses, and rubbed his hand over Kurt's soaked underwear.

"You're so wet, I can't believe it," Blaine sighed and pressed his face against Kurt's neck even harder.

"Rub against me, Blaine, please, I need it so bad," Kurt gasped, needing something, anything at that moment.

Blaine obeyed and gyrated his hips between Kurt's legs, making Kurt hiss from the unexpected pleasure.

"You okay?" Blaine asked, wanting to make sure he wasn't hurting him.

"I'm amazing... I-I just, I had no idea it felt this good." Kurt pressed his head back against the pillow and grabbed fistfuls of Blaine's shirt.

"Tell me what you need."

"Touch me again, somewhere. And keep going, a bit faster please."

Blaine used one hand the grip at Kurt's breast and knead it side to side. Kurt moaned loudly into Blaine's mouth and wrapped his legs around him even tighter as Blaine bucked his hips faster, wanting as much friction as possible.

Kurt's eyes flew open about 5 minutes later when he realized that he was close, but he panicked, not knowing how to hold onto the rising tension as a female.

"Blaine, I think I'm going to climax. I think, I don't know."

"Okay, okay, what do you want me to do?" Blaine asked, some sweat on his forehead as he continued to rub their bodies together and hope that Rachel's dads didn't decide to come home early.

"I don't know," Kurt whimpered.

Kurt's whimper made Blaine rush to the point that Kurt must have been at. He moaned at the little whimper and felt close now too.

"Just let it build up, then let go," Blaine tried to help, kissing Kurt forcefully and using another hand to rub over Kurt's womanhood through the underwear.

Kurt was holding his breath and his face was bright red. He exhaled then tried holding his breath again, his climax right on the edge.

"Oh god, I can't do it. Like my body just can't-" Kurt squeaked out.

"Kurt look at me," Blaine said in a demanding voice.

Kurt opened his eyes wider and looked up at Blaine.

"God Kurt, you're so beautiful," Blaine said just as he pressed his tented inseam against Kurt's clit.

And then Kurt was able to let go. He screeched a little when he _finally_ felt like all the built up tension had exploded inside of him and waves of pleasure rocked through his whole body, Blaine struggling to hold back and work Kurt through it.

Kurt eventually went limp and Blaine let himself cum as well in his jeans, driving his hips against Kurt.

Blaine rolled off and laid beside Kurt, pulling the smaller form into a hug.

"Thank you, Blaine," Kurt sighed, about to fall asleep.

"Wait, I need to ask you something," Blaine murmured into his hair.

"Mm?"

"So what feels better, girl orgasms or boy orgasms?"

"Way to ruin the afterglow, Blaine," Kurt mumbled then suddenly fell asleep.


	13. Explosion

**Hello again! A couple of you asked "why didn't Kurt answer?" (about if male or female orgasms are better) and I would have asked the same thing. The reason I did not have Kurt answer is because I am a female and unfortunately have never had the opportunity to orgasm as a dude. My best answer: I suppose female orgasms are great and all, but I do strongly believe that men's probably feel better. **

**But I digress... Her's the next chappie! And thanks for all the follows on Tumblr and all the wonderful reviews! Sorry I don't reply much, but most of my internet access is through my iPod and its had to reply because my stupid iPod keeps logging me off of my account every five fucking seconds...**

**And I'm so sorry guys about not updating! I've had this chapter (and others) in my documents forever, but I lost Internet to my computer for 2 weeks and I couldn't post this.**

**I digress again. Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Rachel<strong>

"Hey bud," Burt greeted Rachel as he passed by his "son" on his way to the kitchen.

"Hey Dad," Rachel said automatically, having become accustomed to referring to him as her father.

"Hey, where's Finn, I haven't seen you two hanging out lately. And it's Thursday night, don't you two usually get together to watch 'What Not To Wear' or something?"

Rachel forced herself not to squirm in her seat. Finn had been borderline avoiding her since the muffin incident where she had forgotten she was Kurt and most likely scared Finn a bit. Kurt and Finn had become so much closer than she had ever imagined and she was afraid that she gave Finn the idea that Kurt was reverting to his old crush on him. Rachel though, had no way of telling Finn otherwise.

"We watch 'Project Runway' together, Dad. Carole and I watch 'What Not To Wear' in the afternoon."

Burt waved his hand. "Anyways, my question still remains, where's Finn? I know he's not going to miss watching those nearly naked models get fitted into their clothes."

Rachel smiled at Burt, raising an eyebrow and applauding herself for remembering to include that trait of Kurt. "Hmm, Dad. I see you do pay attention to the show too..."

Burt was suddenly fascinated by a wall and shrugged. "So what. I think that Anthony Ryan kid has some potential."

Rachel smiled and flipped the channel to Project Runway. Tim Gunn was making his way around the room and advising the constants to "Make it work." Rachel pretended to be totally immersed.

"Kurt..."

Rachel flinched, unable to stop herself. She sighed. "I don't know where Finn is. We've been a bit...um, separate lately. I don't know. It probably has something to do with...Rachel." _Actually, it had everything to do about Rachel, even if Finn didn't know it._

Burt tapped the side of his beer can with his fingers. He finally spoke. "Are you sure it doesn't have something to do with you."

Rachel's eyes widened. What did he know?

"You haven't been...you. I know I've just been a broken record for the last, I dunno, a month or so, but one day you seemed to come home and were a totally different person...It doesn't have something to do with Blaine, right?"

Rachel rolled her eyes with a little smirk. "You think everything has to do with Blaine."

Burt chuckled. "You're my baby, I worry."

Rachel was once again taken off guard by Burt's terms of endearment. She always knew Burt loved his son, but it was just heart melting the way he still referred to Kurt as his "baby boy" without a second thought.

Rachel licked her lips. "I don't know what happened, Dad. I just...I don't know. I don't know why I changed. But I hope you'll be able to accept whatever the future may hold for me," Rachel said, unsure if she should continue.

Burt nodded, which must have been a good sign. "I do miss... _you_, though. I kinda miss you begging me to give you that extra 10 or 20 bucks here and there for a sweater you just _have_ to have, or hiding all the diet Cokes from me. And I miss you and Finn being together. It was really...cute. Adorable actually, to see how far Finn has come, and for you to finally have the brother you always wanted. Granted it was a long hard run but, you know..."

"I know, Dad."

They were quiet for a few minutes until Burt said again, "But you know what I miss the most about you?"

"I'm still me, Dad," Rachel said quietly.

"You don't sing anymore."

Rachel looked at Burt.

Burt rested his heels on the coffee table. "You don't sing Broadway tunes in the shower anymore at ungodly hours, you don't hum some song under your breath when you make dinner, and you don't blast Adam Lambert when you're studying in your room."

"Adam Lambert?" Rachel said, horrified. Who knew Kurt was a closeted Glambert fan?

Burt furrowed his brows together. "Yes. That's the guy whose new album you stayed up all night to download, right?"

Rachel held back a giggle. She'd ask Kurt about this when she saw him Saturday.

Burt patted Rachel on the shoulder and heaved himself up. "I'm going to bed. It was nice talking to you, kiddo. G'night. And start singing again. Please."

"Night, Dad."

* * *

><p><strong>[2 Days Later]<strong>

Rachel gathered her things and was about to head out to Kurt's house when her stomach growled. She put down her satchel and walked over to the kitchen, grabbing a piece of bread and sticking it in the toaster. She turned around to rummage in the pantry for peanut butter and jelly, when she saw the empty cereal bowl on the table.

Finn.

She placed it in the sink and rinsed it out. She had barely caught a glimpse of Finn in the past 4 days, but she tried not to let that shake her too much. Burt and Carole were already gone so maybe he had gone with them.

She drummed her fingers on the counter top, waiting for the toast to pop. She let her mind wander and realized that she still hadn't tried singing again yet. She had tried to about one week into the change, and had failed miserably and had not wanted to try again. But maybe to help Burt not be so on edge that his son was about to spontaneously combust on him, she could at least try.

She turned the radio on and the jazzy beginning of "Changes" by David Bowie began playing. She cleared her throat and began a little hum, trying to get her voice into the right pitch. She had mastered every scale in her normal body to be pitch perfect, but with Kurt's voice it was much harder. She had seen him, in the flesh, hit notes only a handful of men can sing, and to do what he could do, she knew she would have to work at it.

Finally she got the right pitch. She started slowly, mostly talking with style and singing in a whispery tone.

_I still don't know what I was waiting for  
>And my time was running wild<br>A million dead-end streets  
>Every time I thought I'd got it made<br>It seemed the taste  
>was not so sweet<em>

She counted out a few beats, then continued, her voice a bit louder and stronger. She sang the song in a higher tone than usual, but was surprised that Kurt's voice was able to sing it in the same pitch as Bowie. Rachel was constantly amazed, and annoyed, with Kurt's phenomenal range.

_So I turned myself to face me  
>But I've never caught a glimpse<br>Of how the others must see the faker  
>I'm much too fast to take that test<em>

_Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes_  
><em>(Turn and face the stranger)<em>  
><em>Ch-ch-Changes<em>  
><em>Don't want to be a richer man<em>  
><em>Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes<em>  
><em>(Turn and face the stranger)<em>  
><em>Ch-ch-Changes<em>  
><em>Just gonna have to be a different man<em>  
><em>Time may change me<em>  
><em>But I can't trace time<em>

Rachel smiled and wiggled her shoulders and hips, getting into it.

_I watch the ripples change their size  
>But never leave the stream<br>Of warm impermanence and  
>So the days float through my eyes<br>But still the days seem the same  
>And these children that you spit on<br>As they try to change their worlds  
>Are immune to your consultations<br>They're quite aware  
>of what they're going through<em>

_Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes_  
><em>(Turn and face the stranger)<em>  
><em>Ch-ch-Changes<em>  
><em>Don't tell them to grow up and out of it<em>  
><em>Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes<em>  
><em>(Turn and face the stranger)<em>  
><em>Ch-ch-Changes<em>  
><em>Where's your shame<em>  
><em>You've left us up to our necks in it<em>  
><em>Time may change me<em>

Rachel whipped her head back and forth to each punctuated word.

_But you can't trace-_

"Kurt?"

Rachel spun around, surprised that the sound of Finn's voice and from the sudden pop of the toaster. Her hand hit the glass jelly jar, sending it in a death spiral towards the ground, but somehow Finn was quick enough to catch it before it smashed.

Rachel exhaled in relief, but then inhaled again when she noticed that Finn's head had brushed against Herman (her dick) when he lunged for the jar.

And unfortunately, this had peaked Herman's interest. Herman's teenage, easily-excited interest.

_Stop it! No!_ She commanded her extremity, but so far, it wasn't listening.

"Wow, never heard you sing a David Bowie song. You should do him more, you're good at him," Finn mumbled just loud enough for Rachel to hear.

"T-thanks," she said, trying to busy herself with her sandwich and not think about her growing hard-on. And the more she kept thinking about not getting hard made her even harder which was getting really frustrating. For some reason she couldn't fixate on anything other than how great it felt for the brief moment when his freaking head grazed against her dick through her pants and the wonderful, and unexpected, sensation it created.

"Since when do you toast your bread before making a PB&J sandwich?" Finn asked, barely looking at Rachel.

"I like it that way." _Just like how I like your head against my OH MY GOD, BRAIN, SHUT THE FUCK UP. _"A-and I'm sure there's a lot of people who do too."

"Kurt, nobody toasts their PJ&J's," Finn said with an uninterested sigh.

Rachel turned around to face him, her bitch face on. "I'll have you know I know plenty of other people who toast their bread before putting peanut butter and jelly on it. But that is irrelevant, I'm upset with how you've been acting extremely childish lately and it is deplorable that you refuse to talk anything out with me."

Finn sighed and glared at Rachel. "Kurt, the only person who ever uses the word 'deplorprable' is Rac..."

Rachel stiffened under Finn's stare, frightened by the way he said 'Rachel.' She touched her face, afraid she had suddenly changed back into her old body. She felt Kurt's super soft skin and knew that was not the case. And then she realized where Finn was staring.

Finn took the jar of jelly and threw it into the sink, it exploding all over the counter. "What the fuck, Kurt?" he thundered.

"Finn," Rachel breathed, frightened beyond belief. She had never seen him so angry and...scary. "Finn..."

"I thought we were brothers, Kurt! Not fuck buddies or whatever you want me to be! I thought-" Finn's face was bright red and he threw his arms up, searching for his next words. "I thought you didn't have a crush on me anymore and that we were 100% past that! I really do, like, love you Kurt as a brother and my best friend, but I do not, _love_ you in a romantic way! Why did you have to go and fuck all of this up?" Finn was tearing up now.

"Finn, what are you-"

"Your muther fucking boner you-you f-f-freak!" Finn screamed.

Rachel looked down and covered her crotch with her hands. "No no no, Finn. Finn!" she cried out as he stomped out of the kitchen.

"I'M NOT KURT!" she wailed, falling to her knees.

She surprised herself at the outburst since she did not plan on telling Finn like this, or at all for that matter. But suddenly the image of Blaine leaving flooded her memory and she couldn't relive that pain again.

Finn stopped, then slowly turned around. "What does that even mean? Or course you're Kurt."

Rachel shook her head back and forth. "No. I'm not. And I don't know how to explain."

After what felt like forever, Finn knelt near her, but a good few feet away. "So if you're not...Kurt. Then who are you? You're not like, some alien here to probe me, right?"

Rachel coughed out a laugh. "No. I'm...I'm..."

How could she tell Finn that for the last few months that it had been Rachel who had been swooning around him and, most recently, popping awkward boners?

"Who?"

Finn looked into Finn's eyes. Why couldn't he tell who she was like Blaine was able to with Kurt?

"Um... Jerry Smith."

Finn blinked, then stared hard into Rachel's (Kurt's) face. "No...you're someone I know."

Rachel's heart fluttered a bit. "You're right. I'm...I'm Rachel," she said at last.

Finn stopped breathing and for a moment Rachel thought he had petrified. She finally shifted towards him and he sprang back like a cat.

"B-but, if you're...Rachel, then where's Kurt?" he said extremely slowly.

Rachel swallowed. "In my body...well, my old body I guess. How it happened, we have no idea, and we don't know when, and if, we'll ever be able to change back."

Finn was still again and then he shuffled over to the couch, sitting down slowly. "How long has it been like this?"

Rachel quickly counted in her mind. "1 month and 3 weeks."

Finn looked at her. "So that was you telling me that 'Rachel had a lot on her plate' and things like that." A look of satisfaction crossed his face and a large smile split his face wide open. "So Rachel has been ignoring me because it has been Kurt all this time! I mean, it's been Kurt who hasn't been interested in me, so that's good that he didn't take advantage of your body and go after me, so we're still bros which takes a lot of pressure off of me, but you're Kurt and...I think my brain is breaking. Oh my god, have you ever seen me pee?" he asked, horrified.

"No," Rachel said through her teeth.

Finn sunk into the couch. "Oh good." Rachel sat next to him and he tensed up again. He peered into Rachel's face, squinting as if that would help him see through the mask.

"Wait...are you just playing a trick on me to hide that you got a boner around me?"

Rachel's eyes flared open. "No! I'll answer whatever questions that only Rachel, _I,_ would know."

Finn shook his head. "No, I know a fool-proof way to know if you are actually not Kurt." Finn slowly held his hand out then poked Rachel's cheek with his finger.

"Finn. What are you doing?"

"Rachel! It is you! Kurt tries to bite my finger off whenever my hand gets even close to his face so you're obviously not him." Finn smiled, pleased with his investigation. "So now what do we do?"

"I dunno..." Rachel began. "And um, sorry about, freaking you out."

"That's okay. You've only been a guy for what, 2 months? It took me forever to get control of my awkward bo-" he cut himself off and blushed. "Sorry, I still have to remember that you're not Kurt."

"That's okay. But I'm so glad I told you Finn and that you didn't send me to an exorcist or something...even though that's an option I've been considering myself."

"And thanks for telling me 'Krachel.'" Finn laughed.

* * *

><p>"<strong>Changes" by David Bowie (one of my favorite songs ever and it's about change and being unable to reverse the clock so I found this appropriate.)<strong>

**I'm obsessed with Project Runway. It's my thried favorite show after Glee and The Big Bang Theory. I also adore WNTW. It's like a TV Fashion Bible session.**

**I actually have a whole plot and time line for this story! I'm so proud of me! I think there will be 5-7 more chapters to this! And I was gunna go off in a whole "Finn thinks it's some guy in Kurt's body and Kurt is just a lost soul somewhere" direction but I just can't bring myself to introduce another plot line. Hope you enjoyed this! Review!**

**Reviewwwwwwww! Cause I love youuuuuuuuuuu!**


	14. Ask

**Kurt and Rachel**

"Oh god what did you do now?" Kurt asked when Rachel stepped into the house, a guilty expression plastered onto her face.

Blaine poked his head out of the kitchen, drying his hands with a dish rag.

"I told Fi-"

"OH SHIT DID HE FREAK OUT? IS HE COMING HERE NOW TO MURDER-"

"Kurt, calm down. He was actually kinda okay with it. He took it a hundred times better than I would have expected him to respond." Rachel then told them, after learning that her Dads were out, about Finn's reaction.

"Well that's good," Kurt breathed at last. "I'll talk to him in school on Monday and see if he's still mentally stable."

"And Rachel, we have something we need to ask you," Blaine blurted out, blushing a bit when Kurt shot him a stare.

"I _was_ going to lead up to this, but yes, we do have something we need to discuss with you Rachel," Kurt said, entwining his fingers with Blaine's, the bright blue nails contrasting brilliantly against Blaine's skin tone. "Blaine and I want to have sex," Kurt said, his sentence hanging in the air. He continued when Rachel didn't say anything. "We don't know how long we're going to be like this and if this may be permanent. We are so ready to move onto the next step and since this is, rightfully, your body, I need your okay before we do anything."

"No," Rachel said.

Kurt exhaled, expecting that reaction. "I have to ask, why?"

Rachel bit her bottom lip, green eyes looking everywhere but at the couple sitting across from her. "I don't know."

Kurt crossed his legs, beginning his uphill battle. "Let me ask you something, why did you and Finn never have sex? You two dated for a long time and he was obviously ready and you were 'in love' with each other, so why not?"

Rachel turned crimson. "I was afraid of my first time."

"And why was that?" Kurt said, the tone in his voice obviously trying to lead her somewhere.

"Because I was afraid of... popping my cherry and it hurting and ruining our first time together. And it would be so embarrassing all the articles I've read said that it is tremendously painful, but most people can work through it. But what if I can't? I'm fine with a slushie facial, but I've never really been very good with pai-"

"Stop your monologue right there, missy," Kurt said as if about to award her with a prize. "So why not let me do the dirty work, just once, and then in a few more weeks, if we're still this way, then we can iron out the other details."

Rachel raised an eyebrow in thought. Kurt did have a point. She had even questioned herself once if she would be a virgin her entire life because of her insane fear of the pain of losing her virginity.

"How did you know that I was afraid of that? I've never told anyone."

"I don't think you've ever cleared your Browsing History in your life, dearie," Kurt said evenly.

If Kurt and Blaine used her body for the first time, then she would have nothing to fear. Rachel scolded herself for the feeling of relief that washed throughout her body at the thought. But did she really wanting Kurt of all people taking her body's virginity? Then again...this was a win-win anyway she looked at it.

"Okay."

"And onto point two, I- wait. What?" Kurt asked, surprised with how fast she answered.

Rachel squeezed her eyes shut and said it again. "Yes. I think it would be a favor to the both of us." She finally opened her eyes again and looked between them. "But you guys are gay, how does this even work?"

"Woah, give me one second," Kurt said. "I had a whole speech planned out, but now I need to back peddle..."

While his boyfriend (girlfriend?) collected his thoughts, Blaine replied, "Kurt and I really are in love. We've come so far and while you can choose to or not to believe it, I truly only see Kurt when I look at 'your' body. I just see the man I love and I want us to be together physically, even if it is with a body form that I do not sexually prefer. But I still see all of Kurt's character and I know it is him, so in a way, it just doesn't matter to me. We're obviously in an advanced part of our emotional relationship and have been ready to go onto the next stage. I just want to be with him."

Rachel held back the "awwwwwwww!" that was bubbling up in her throat and instead just nodded.

"You're actually okay with this?" Kurt asked incredulously, as if her answer was crazy, seeming to be on a totally different perspective than before.

"It really is a good deal. Though you two better use the most expensive sperm-proof condom you can find because f you get Kurt pregnant, Blaine Warbler, I will castrate you myself!"

Blaine held his hands up in surrender. "No worries. And I..." he cleared his throat. "I took the liberty of tracking Kurt's cycle so we can do this at the time when your body is least fertile. No offense, but I definitely do not want any Klaibies for the time being."

"Aww, thanks babe," Kurt said to Blaine, pinching his cheek. "And did you seriously say 'Klaibies?'"

Blaine's face brightened. "I was looking at baby names for fun one day and there's an actual name 'Ke Lane.'

Rachel couldn't help but smirk because they were just so adorable, but there were still a few tasks at hand.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry I've been awful on updating, but I'm taking a college course this year and it's literally sucking the life from me. It's kinda cool to be learning so much, but my schedule for the last two weeks has been school, (stay after for a choir sometimes,) do homeworkstudy till 7:30, eat dinner, watch half a re-run of Glee (since I got the 2nd Season on DVD!) and falling asleep on the couch. I haven't even been able to go into work because I literally have no time. I wrote this chapter a few weeks ago and pretty much have not written anything new in a few weeks so my files are horribly empty.**

**I'm sorry guys, I really want to be writing, but hopefully soon I'll be able to start writing again. I love you all so much and thanks so much for following me on Tumblr! I have plenty more chapters to write for this story and for "I Feel The Chemicals Kicking In"! Don't give up on me!**

**Love you all, reviews are super-appreciated. **


	15. Brothers

**Kurt**

"Hey Kurt."

Kurt's head whipped around, his long hair flying everywhere. He exhaled. "Oh, Finn, it's just you," he said as he put his Chemistry book back into his locker. He closed the door shut and leaned against the locker, putting one hand on his hip. "So, what do you think?"

Finn frowned in concentration, then slowly extended his index finger towards Kurt's cheek.

Kurt smacked it away. "Finn! What the f-"

"Kurt! It _is_ you!" Finn picked up Kurt's tiny figure into a full-body hug. "I'm missed you so much bro!"

"Shh! You dumb neanderthal! Put me down."

Finn eventually set Kurt back down on his ballet flats.

"I'm so happy to see you too, Finn. But you gotta keep it down, we're still trying to keep this hot mess a secret," Kurt said, glancing around for wandering eyes.

"Still bro, this totally clears up the last, like, week for me!"

Kurt arched a brow. "Seriously, you only really realized this switch a week ago?"

Finn's eyes grew wide. "Wait, since you're Rachel, can I grab your boobs?" Finn asked, arms already reaching out.

Kurt swatted his hands away again. "Okay, new rule, no touching! At all! Second, really Finn? In the middle of the hallway?" Kurt smacked his shoulder, just reaching because he was now even shorter than before.

"But, you just said no touching," Finn said.

"Shut up, Hudson. Anyways, I'm just happy that you didn't totally flip your shit."

Finn shrugged. "You're my brother man, I accept you however you come." He flashed a crooked smile. He suddenly squinted and stared hard at Kurt's face. He gave up after a few seconds. "I'm still having trouble seeing 'you' though. So sorry in advance if I call you Rachel."

Kurt patted his arm. "It's okay. I know it's a big adjustment. I don't even know how Blaine does it, I still freak my own self out in the mirror some mornings."

Finn's smile disappeared. "And uh, but, we don't have to, you know. Count what happened a few weeks ago because...well you know."

They started walking towards their classes.

"What, Finn?" Kurt asked, having to take two steps for every one of Finn's insane strides.

"We... you know..." Finn trailed off, a slight blush creeping onto his face.

Kurt became worried and arched an eyebrow. "What?"

Finn made sure that the couple behind them weren't paying attention when he leaned down to say, "We... kissed," in a volume that belonged in a church.

Once he deciphered what Finn had said, he waved his hand. "Forget about it."

Finn stood up straight, almost stumbling. "W-what?"

Kurt shrugged. "You thought it was Rachel and I didn't get anything out of it, so let's just pretend it never happened. I can if you can."

Finn fumbled with his words. "But you used to have a crush on me. Don't old crushes take like 7 years to get over or something? Like, we're bros and everything, but I didn't know if maybe some old feelings passed through from you."

Kurt sighed. "Finn, I think you are thinking of how long bubble gum stays in your stomach. Also, after seeing you on Black Friday literally puke everything up all over the kitchen from the previous night is kinda the ultimate turn-off. And you waking up and breathing in your morning breath while I attempt to eat cereal...or having to clean your pee off the toilet seat, and that time you locked yourself in the bathroom because you had diarrhea-"

"Okay, okay," Finn said with a half-smirk. "I get it. Thanks, man... _wo_-man."

"No problem, brother." They were just about to part into their different classes when Kurt added, "Who knew putting a girl in my body would finally make you go for me." Then quickly slapped Finn's ass.

**Kurt and Rachel**

"I cannot believe you even _ordered_ that disgusting flith!" Kurt's voice echoed into the living room where Finn and Blaine sat on the couch watching Monday night football.

"I said I didn't eat it! I don't see what the big fricken problem is! I assure you there's no 'filth' in your entire body! Do you know I haven't even had chicken since we switched?" Rachel's voice thundered back.

"This is all Blaine's fau-"

"Don't talk about my boyfriend that way you skank!" Rachel's voice shrieked.

Finn chuckled as Blaine tried to smother himself with a pillow. "I feel so guilty."

"Don't worry about it, Anderson. Rachel's just upset that you took Kurt to a McDonald's. She's actually done protests outside some of them about their treatment of french fries of something and she's scared that someone may have seen 'her.'"

Blaine smirked. "Well I gathered that much, Finn. I just feel so stupid, I should have known Rachel would act like this. It's just, it's so easy to forget that Kurt's not actually Kurt."

Finn's eyes widened (and not because of the unpleasant crash-sound from the kitchen-war.) "Really...you_ forget_?"

Blaine shrugged. "They're so different from the other that after a while, I don't really see Rachel anymore and I just see Kurt. It helps that Kurt has a big and distinct personality."

Finn looked down at the floor, not about to point out that on occasion he had said to Kurt and Rachel that they were a lot alike. Apparently Blaine didn't think so.

"You don't think so do you?" Blaine asked with an understanding smile.

Finn smirked shyly. "No, actually."

Blaine turned towards Finn on the couch and crossed his legs, resting his hands on his bent knees. "It took me a little while, I'm not gunna lie. But I also spend every hour possible with Kurt so I adjusted faster."

"Yeah. Like, I want to get back together with Rachel really bad, but when I look at her now, no offense dude, but all I see is 'penis.'"

Blaine couldn't hold back a loud booming laugh.

Finn flushed red while Blaine tried to catch his breath. "Yes, yeah, well I can see how that can be a problem for you. I'll admit, I was concerned about the whole 'vagina' thing at first, but I'm willing to look past that."

"I tried kissing Rachel today when I got here, but I looked at her for too long and she suddenly turned back into Kurt and I just..."

"What?" Blaine asked, propping his head up on one hand.

"I just kinda ended up awkwardly petting her face."

Blaine laughed again. "Hey, at least you definitely know it's Kurt then, because he would never let you touch his face."

"Ha! You get it too!" Finn held up his hand and Blaine smacked it.

Blaine readjusted himself the continued. "I'm not sure exactly how I do it. Like I said, I just start seeing Kurt after a while because, and don't judge me for sounding so corny because even though I'm small, I can still throttle you, it's like I fall in love all over again with his wonderful personality all the time."

Finn blinked, trying to absorb this. "You actually love him?"

Blaine nodded, unsmiling to convey his sincerity. "I truly am in love with him."

Finn leaned back against the sofa. "I thought I was in love with Rachel last year. And then I thought I was in love with Quinn. I think I'm afraid to say 'love' again because I really don't know what it feels like and every time I think I'm right, I'm just so wrong."

Blaine nodded. "For me, it's knowing that I find Kurt beautiful no matter what and I just adore every part of him. I enjoy being around him all the time and when I'm away from him, I'm only thinking about the next time I'll get to be with him again. It's more than a crush, I assure you. And before you ask, I didn't realize that I loved him after this whole body-swap thing. I knew, and told him, that I loved him long before this. This incident has just kinda reinforced my belief that I love him."

"You know man, a few years ago, if I heard that two guys could truly love each other like you and Kurt do, I probably wouldn't have believed it."

Blaine smiled. "Thanks, Finn. And really, the only thing I can tell you is to look past what you see. Try to connect with her on a deeper level, and if you want this relationship to work, you really do need to work on a deeper level of understanding. I think you can do it, Finn."

"BIIIITTTCCCCHHHHHHHHH!" the two swappees screamed at each other.

"Think we should go break them up?"

"After you, Mr. Anderson."

"Oh no, I insist, by all means, after you."

* * *

><p><strong>Once again everyone, so sorry for the lack of updates. My college-courses and honors classes this year are really demanding (aka: shit ton of homework every fucking nite) and I had to slowly write this chapter and the next one little by little. I also got cast as a lead One-Act play which has been taking up a lot of time so hopefully I'll have the next chapter up by the end of next week!<strong>

**I still have at LEAST 3 more chapters to go! And "Chemicals Kicking In" is still active! Like I said, I've just been pressured for writing-time. **

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Reviews are as good as medium drips for me! Love you all so very much and I love seeing you all on Tumblr!**


	16. Connection

**Time for some SMUT! WHOO! This is not going to be my best because I don't want to make this a porn-fic, but I'll hopefully at least have you considering a cold shower. ;)**

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt<strong>

By now all of Kurt's lipstick was now on various places of Blaine's neck and face. Blaine was laid on top of his boyfriend (girlfriend?), straddling his waist and unashamed on the hard-on that was straining against his jeans. His entire body suddenly rolled against Kurt's, needing something to rub against.

"God, I want you," Kurt breathed out, soft lips working on a hickey at the hollow of Blaine's neck.

"Then let's do it," Blaine responded immediately, arm wrapping around Kurt's back and bringing them flush together. His other hand worked its way down Kurt's stomach and into his panties before coming into contact with his pussy.

Blaine held back a laugh, once again momentarily forgetting that Kurt was missing a few parts now. Kurt shivered under Blaine as the boy pressed against his swollen clit with his thumb.

"We need to switch leg positions," Kurt stuttered out, bucking down on Blaine's fingers.

Blaine raised an eyebrow before he realized that his legs were the ones spread at the moment.

"Are you sure you can do this, Blaine? Because I can wait if you n-."

Blaine kissed Kurt on the mouth to shut him up. Then he kissed down Kurt's throat while unbuttoning Kurt's top and pushing the shirt to either side. Blaine appraised the bright pink bra that encased his perky breasts and trailed his fingers over the swirly stitch-work.

"Wait," Kurt breathed. He hugged Blaine close to him and settled his hand on the back of his boyfriend's neck, pressing Blaine's face onto the pillow against his cheek.

"What do you feel?" Kurt asked.

Blaine breathed in deeply and winded his arms around his love, holding him for a few moments. Eventually he tightened his grip and said "You."

Kurt arched up and reached behind his back to unhook the bra and slide it off his shoulders. He sat up and faced Blaine, his nipples just grazing against Blaine's chest.

"Are you okay with this?" Kurt whispered.

Blaine closed his eyes and gently pushed Kurt back down. He began kissing at Kurt's neck again, then slowly continued kissing him down between his breasts, quickly licking at the left nipple, continuing to his stomach, and finally to his womanhood, sensually sucking at the folds as Kurt's hairless thighs pressed against the sides of his face. Blaine opened his eyes lazily and looked up at Kurt who was straining his neck to see what Blaine was going to do next.

"I think I'll be okay...as long as you will be," Blaine said before kissing at Kurt's lower lips again and closing his eyes.

"Fuck, I love you."

"I know. Shh." And then he hesitantly poked his tongue in, licking up between the skin with the flat of his tongue.

Kurt let out a broken moan, head falling back against the pillow and hands gripping at the sides of the bed. Blaine's eyes fluttered open to see his love arching up again, the dim light reflecting so beautifully.

"_This is Kurt. All Kurt,"_ Blaine chanted to himself. Unable to take it anymore, he flung himself back up to Kurt's lips and crushed their bodies together, needing his body against his. Rachel's body was so much lighter than Kurt's, but Blaine pushed the notion from his mind.

Kurt could feel Blaine's wavering erection against his thigh. "Blaine. Can you do this?" Kurt asked, petting his face.

"Yes," Blaine answered with determination. "I want you so bad, and right now."

Kurt was caught off guard with the extremely dirty kiss that Blaine responded with, his large hand suddenly snaking down between their bodies and pressing into Kurt's vagina.

Kurt hissed and bucked down, wanting more. Kurt returned the favor by gripping Blaine's cock and beginning to jerk him off.

"S-stop," Blaine stuttered, his hips undulating into Kurt's fist. "I don't know if I'll be able to do this more than once, baby."

Kurt understood and reached over to the table to pull out a condom that he had stashed there earlier that evening. He bashed his hand against the side because of his unfamiliarity with the side table in the dark.

Suddenly Blaine's mouth was around his fingers, sucking wonderfully on the pads.

"I don't care what you look like, babe. I want you to remember that you're still a man."

Kurt swooned and an embarrassing rush of fluids leaked out from between his legs, a response he was not yet used to.

"God Kurt, now. Please," he begged.

Kurt nodded, but was afraid Blaine wouldn't be able to see the gesture in the dark.

Apparently he did.

Blaine rolled the condom on and rested the head of his dick against Kurt's semi-dilated opening. He slowly pressed his mouth against Kurt's again.

"I love you," he said to Kurt.

"I love you too."

Then he pressed in and Kurt whimpered when Blaine took a moment to steady his shaking limbs.

"I need you to move," Kurt hissed, feeling his insides stretch around Blaine's member.

Blaine kissed Kurt's forehead and then began thrusting, slowly at first, and then gradually picked up his pace as Kurt tightened around him.

Suddenly an awful pain ripped through Kurt's lower body and he screamed out, which made Blaine jump back and slip out.

**Rachel**

Rachel dropped her black checker piece and clutched at her lower stomach.

"You okay?" Finn asked, his own red chip mid-way to the board.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay."

**Kurt**

"What's wrong? Oh shit!" Blaine exclaimed when a little blood leaked out of Kurt's opening. "Oh shit, shit, I'm s-sorry! I-"

"Blaine, shut up," Kurt gritted out. "You just popped my cherry. Just give me a minute. Actually no, please keep fucking me through this awful pain. Now."

"But you're bleeding!"

"I read that it happens sometimes. Don't worry about it. Just keep going."

Blaine slowly entered again, barely thrusting and more just moving in and out.

Kurt opened his eyes wide and wrapped his legs around Blaine's waist, digging his heels in. His large brown eyes sparkled. "Blaine, I'm going to need more than that."

A smirk flashed on Blaine's face and his breathing went deeper as his hips snapped forward, making the bed creak. Kurt's breaths came out in short puffs in time with Blaine's thrusts.

Kurt placed his hands on Blaine's thighs and he could feel his boyfriend getting close.

"Blaine, come if you need to."

Blaine shook his head, hips still moving. "I need you to first. And it's like you're barely here."

"I don't want you to get distracted by my voice or...body."

"Shut the fuck up," Blaine grunted, throwing his hips into Kurt's body. He stopped abruptly and flipped them over, then pushed against Kurt's boobs to sit him up on Blaine's hips. "Now I can get a good look at you. Ride me, sir," Blaine commanded, slapping Kurt's ass.

Kurt looked down at the slick sweat-covered body of Blaine and felt a warm heat spike up his spine. Kneeling around Blaine's thighs, he lifted himself up and then dropped back down. He tried not to move Blaine's dick around inside him, trying to not adjust the position that Blaine was in, in fear of messing up the angle.

"Kurt, you gotta get something out of this too. Move around, find a good angle for you. Anything you do will feel good to me, trust me."

Kurt blinked quickly, wondering if Blaine was reading his mind. Kurt tried leaning more forward, his breasts swinging forward. Then he tried leaning back.

There it was.

Kurt let out a loud moan and bounced up and down on Blaine's dick at this angle. His eyes sprung open and for the first time he could really _feel_ how great sex was. Something seemed to finally click for him and the pleasure was pooling in a tight sensation within his body as he moved around on Blaine's member.

"So beautiful," Blaine breathed, meeting Kurt with every thrust.

Kurt's jaw went slack and he flipped his hair back, needing it out of his face as he began rushing towards his climax. For a few moments, the room absorbed the sounds of skin slapping, erratic breathing, and hearts hammering.

Kurt leaned back a bit more and Blaine felt so big inside him at this absolutely perfect angle. He felt an incoming wave coming and he waited for as long as he could until it was like everything around him shattered and he clenched around Blaine, riding out his climax. Blaine gripped onto Kurt's thighs and worked him through it.

"God Blaine, fuck. You cum, now, fuck," Kurt screamed out as he was coming down from his high. He forced himself through his post-climax fog and slammed his body down on Blaine, needing to lean forward now to quicken his movements. Blaine's eyes became wide, staring up at Kurt and finally Kurt felt Blaine jerk up roughly into his body and a warm feeling in his oversensitive areas.

Blaine's body relaxed and Kurt climbed off of him, pulling off Blaine's condom after he was off. Surprising, he was able to take it off, tie it, and throw it away without making it messy.

When Kurt got back to Blaine, Blaine wrapped him in a bear hug and deeply inhaled Kurt's hair. They faced each other under the coveres, noses touching.

"I can't believe we just did this," Kurt laughed.

"I thought it was wonderful," Blaine whispered back, kissing Kurt's nose. "And you know how I said that I might only be able to do this once? Well, I was wrong. I think I could be ready for round two in about fifteen minutes. Rachel's dads are still on that cruise till tomorrow, right?"

"And your parents are still away on business, right?"

"Yeppers!" Blaine responded, a goof look on his face.

Kurt smiled and kissed his boyfriend.

* * *

><p>"Maybe this could be somewhat of a good thing," Blaine said to Kurt as they lay beside each other in Blaine's bed later that day. Their legs were intertwined while Blaine played with Kurt's long hair.<p>

"Oh yes, think of all the money we will save on lube," Kurt quipped, making them both chuckle.

Kurt noticed Blaine's ears reddening a bit. "What? You're not telling me something, Blaine."

He bit his bottom lip. "It's not so much not telling you than me not knowing how to say what I want to."

Kurt touched his love's face, purple nails clashing sharply against his skin tone. "You can express whatever you want."

Blaine looked into Kurt's eyes and pulled him close. "If _this_ is actually permanent... then perhaps we can make a few shortcuts family-wise."

Kurt inhaled a shaky breath. "Blaine I-"

"Think about it: We wouldn't have to worry about gay marriage laws or hate crimes. And also... we could have a c-child that was part of both of us instead of only one."

Kurt swallowed. Blaine put his hand gently over Kurt's naked lower waist. "You could be pregnant, and we wouldn't need a surrogate or to adopt. Think about it."

Kurt rolled off of the bed and hugged himself, blankets wrapped around him. "Stop, Blaine. That's too weird to think about. I mean, I haven't even gotten used to the idea of bleeding for five days every month and having to go through that hell for another 40 years or so and now you're thinking about marriage and knocking me up and and-" Kurt inhaled and exhaled shallowly, on the brink of a nervous break down.

Blaine hurried over and sat Kurt on the bed, pushing his head between his knees so that he would calm down like he had done for Kurt even before the change. After a few moments his breathing regulated.

"I'm sor-"

"No, Blaine. It's fine. You're right, it would make things a lot easier, I just overreacted."

Blaine rubbed his hand on Kurt's back. "I shouldn't have brought it up because we still don't know if this is permanent or how long it is going to last and it's a stupid idea anyways."

"It's not stupid," Kurt whispered. "It sounded weird at first, but the more I think about it, all I can focus on is how magical it would be to have something we created together... inside of me. Growing. I never really understood that appeal until now. But-" Kurt cut himself off, holding back a sob.

"What sweetheart, please tell me," Blaine said, so much emotion surging through him.

"We just can't win, Blaine. Even if in the future we tried, it still wouldn't be _our_ baby. It would be yours and fucking Rachel's!"

"Stop, it was wrong of me to bring it up. Shh, please, don't cry." Blaine pushed Kurt's hair back and placed a kiss on his forehead before pecking his lips. They laid down beside each other again. The dark haired boy wiped Kurt's tears away with his thumb then scooted close again.

Kurt sniffed then smirked a little. "You would still marry me?"

Blaine laughed, a break in the tension. "I think I've _planned_ on marrying you since our first kiss."


	17. Look

**Kurt**

"So how long do you think I should stay here for?" Finn asked as he flipped through a Teen Vogue.

"I don't know, I think Rachel's dad's are leaving in an hour so they'll want you to leave as well," Kurt replied, hand close to his face as he continued with the seemingly impossible task of free-handing French-Tips. "They've been harping on me for ages over why you haven't been hanging out for a while. They were convinced you and Rachel weren't dating anymore. Thanks for coming over."

"No problem, dude."

"Hey, you called me dude! This is progress," Kurt said with a smile. "Aw crap, I messed up again. Hand me that tissue. Actually, forget it, fuck it all." Kurt threw the nail polish into the side table and angrily slammed it shut. He laid down on the bed again, head hanging off the side.

"So how's Dad and Carole?"

"They're alright. Rachel has been doing a much better job at being 'you,' but she's started you on a totally vegan diet. Sorry man."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Great, when we switch back I'll have to weave some more crap about why I suddenly want to eat 60 hamburgers for the following week. I've been honorable and haven't eaten meat or animal byproducts, but I'm craving a big greasy burger like you wouldn't believe."

"Wow, you are desperate."

"I know, right?"

They sat in a comfortable silence for a moment before Finn asked, "You just said 'when' you change back. Are you guys going to change back."

Kurt frowned. "We have no idea. Every once in a while we kinda flash back into our own bodies, but we don't know anything else other than that. We're still trying to figure out what happens when we do flash though. We tried smashing our heads together, but that only gave us headaches. My guess is that when we seem to be really in touch with the other, we seem to go through a quick flash. Maybe this whole mess is about acceptance, I don't know. I sorta thought it was all about Rachel losing her virginity, but apparently that's not it."

"Wait, _what?_"

"Nothing. You didn't hear anything," Kurt replied, backpedaling.

"Did you and Blaine have sex? Oh my god, I'm going to kill him, and you! I can't believe you would do that to her body!"

"Rachel agreed! And I'm sorry, I didn't mean to tell you this way. But yes...we did. And it was my idea, so don't you go and sock Blaine."

Finn crossed his arms, fuming. "I'm going to kill that hobbit, he screwed my girlfriend _and_ my brother at the same time! What the fuck?"

Kurt threw another magazine at him and it rebounded off his step-brother's head.

"Can we talk about something else, please?"

Finn twisted his mouth to the side, then asked, "Was he at least an attentive lover?"

"Finn! Shut up! And yes, he was."

"Which one of you topped?" Finn asked.

Kurt's smile disappeared. "Hmm, Finn, let's think this one through. I'm in a _girl's_ body and-"

"Stop right there, because you should have seen Santana when we did it, I don't think I really did a damn thing that entire ride."

Kurt shook his head as if to get the image of Santana and Finn out of his head. "Seriously now, moving on."

"Hey, at least you got what you wanted, right?" Finn said, an unsure grin on his face. "You're gay so you kind of wanted to be a girl."

Kurt whipped around. "What? You think, that because I'm gay I _wanted_ to be a girl?" Kurt shook his head. "I'm gay, not transgender. I'm, or was, proud to be a male, I liked having a dick. But I also like people with dicks as well, but I never wanted to be a woman!"

"Really?" Finn asked, almost in awe.

Kurt's jaw hung open. "Finn... I thought you got me. You know, understood who I was. Apparently not. I think you can leave now."

"Kurt, I'm sorry. I don't know why I thought that, I just assumed-"

"I know in my real body, I was feminine, but I was still a _guy_, Finn. I thought you knew that."

Finn looked down at the floor. "I'm sorry. I-I'll leave. See you later, Kurt."

"Bye."

**Rachel**

"Back so soon?"

"Yeah, Kurt and I got in a little fight, but I think we'll be okay. What are you doing?"

"Nothing much, just finished the laundry. I think I shrunk one of Kurt's sweaters, don't tell him."

"Not planning on it. Wanna watch a movie?"

They sat down and watched "the Women" on TMC while they waited for Burt and Carole to get back home. Finn noticed that Rachel had gradually gravitated towards him, and he wrapped her up in his arms, automatically careful not to graze her boobs, but this didn't seem to be a problem anymore.

"Do you think you could ever love me again?" she whispered, nuzzling into his arm.

He rested his chin on her head, then smelled Kurt's cologne that he had become so familiar with. Suddenly, it was Kurt in his arms again and his muscles flexed when he almost jumped back and let go.

"Are you okay?" Rachel asked, looking up at him.

Finn tried to control his breathing, not Kurt was looking up at him, his big glasz eyes staring at him, not Rachel's deep brown ones.

"Mm-hm," Finn lied, hoping Rachel wouldn't notice his heart speeding up in panic. He focused on the movie until he could comprehend that it was Rachel is his arms, not Kurt.

"Rachel, could you do me a favor and look me in the eyes. I want to try something."

Rachel got away from him, Finn momentarily regretting letting her go, then faced him. Finn stared hard at her, trying to penetrate deep into her soul to see Rachel, and not Kurt.

But why couldn't he see her?

Why was this so hard for him?

"Kiss me," Rachel breathed, her eyes fluttering shut.

Finn licked his lips, and leaned forward, an inch from her face. All he could see was porcelain skin and a man's sculpted face. He tried, he really did, but then he kissed her on the forehead.

Rachel kept her eyes shut for a moment more, then bit her lip as she opened her eyes. "That's... understandable. Um-" she paused to clear her throat. "I'm just going to...go to my room. See you later, Finn."

* * *

><p><strong>Only a couple more chapters to go! I'm getting emotional! Please leave reviews! I got some splendid ones lately, and I love those! Thank you so much guys!<strong>


	18. Me

"Hello, Finn," Kurt said dryly as he entered the Hummel-Hudson abode. He then squealed and ran over to his boyfriend who was sitting on the couch, straddling him.

Rachel's parents had been suspicious of "her's" and Blaine's relationship since their daughter had been seeing the young man frequently over their house for the past few weeks. Because of this, Blaine and Kurt had decided to meet at the house separately.

"Okay guys, I didn't have you over for a make-out session, and frankly, it's kinda creepy to watch myself be kissed."

Kurt flipped her the bird and continued kissing his boyfriend.

She got frustrated and ran over to them, tickling Kurt on his left side. He toppled off of Blaine in a fit of laughter and swears.

"Ow, ow, stop Rachel! Fuck!" Kurt squirmed around, eventually out of her reach.

She blew over the tips of her fingers, like a gun-man blowing off smoke from a rifle. "I still know where my body's tickle-spots are."

Kurt smirked. "Oh yeah? Well I guess two can play at this game-" then pounced on her, tickling under her ribs and behind her knees. He held her down while she spasm, waiting until some tears gathered in her eyes before-

Both fell beside the other, stark-still. Blaine jumped up from his seat and ran over to Kurt's body, knowing the signs now of the switches. He knelt beside the form, gently holding the head up.

"Kurt? Is that you?"

The boy stared up at him for a moment. "Blaine. Yeah, it's Kurt. I-"

Kurt and Rachel's eyes flared open, then became dead weight again. When he opened his eyes, Blaine knew it was Rachel. Blaine climbed over Kurt's body and hugged Rachel's.

"Kurt, I always get so scared when you two switch. I'm always afraid you're going to get...stuck or something."

Kurt pet Blaine's arm, comforting him, knowing how much these incidents bothered him even more than Kurt himself. "It's okay."

"So what do you think triggered it this time?" Rachel said, a head-ache raging in her cranium.

"Um," Kurt started, before sitting up and rubbing his temples. "It's probably because we were using personal knowledge."

"So that's the second time with that situation, right?"

"Yeah."

"Whoa, wait, do you guys have a list or something?" Finn asked, reaching a hand out to help Rachel up. She didn't take his hand, shooting him a glare, then got up herself.

"Kinda," Blaine replied. "So far they've switched from Rachel learning something personal about Kurt. That one seems to work a lot because when Kurt tried it, they switched again, but obviously it was only temporary like they all are. Um, they switched when they compared scars on their body. They changed when Kurt showed Rachel how to sing in his register, and a handful of other times. It's hard to find what they all have in common."

"But we're going to keep trying. Forever," Kurt said, pecking Blaine on the forehead.

Finn excused himself to the bathroom as Kurt and Rachel updated each other on what was happening in "their" lives, as was their weekly ritual. He didn't have to go to the bathroom, he just needed some time to himself for a moment. He rested his palms on on the bathroom sink, leaning his weight against it and looking in the mirror. He stared at himself, remembering what had passed between him and Rachel earlier that day.

* * *

><p>"Kiss me," she had said for the second time that week.<p>

Finn was caught off guard, he had just walked downstairs. "Um, but what if Burt sees?"

"He already went to work. Carole had to go shopping. Now kiss me."

"Okay."

He kissed her, then pulled away.

"You didn't kiss me," Rachel said, irritated.

"What are you talking about? I'm pretty sure my lips just contacted with a guy's, I'm positive I'm going to remember every time I-"

SMACK

Finn clutched the side of his face. "What the hell, Rachel?"

"Do you even hear yourself? 'Contacted with a _guy_?' You didn't kiss Kurt, Finn, you kissed me! _Me!_ Don't you understand who 'me' is anymore? When I said you didn't kiss me, I mean't _me_. Actually, you _were _kissing Kurt because you still can't comprehend that you're actually kissing Rachel Berry. Why is this so hard for you? Blaine does it fine!"

Finn was infuriated. "You can't compare me to Blaine!"

Now Rachel had to become defensive. "Why not? He has to deal with this too! Because he loves Kurt."

"What? Now you think that I don't love you? I do love you Rachel! It's just even harder for me to see past, this." He gestured at her entire body which made her cringe.

"You can't compare me to Blaine because yeah, Blaine's gay, but apparently he is able to look past that since he and Kurt fucked (which I'm never going to forgive them for by the way). Think about this from my angle, Rachel. I'm straight and really like women. And I really like you, not men. But what about tomorrow? We both see everyday how hard it is for Kurt. Yes, it's gotten better, but for me to suddenly come out as playing for the other team, _when it isn't true_, will literally just kill me inside. I know there's nothing wrong with being gay, but I can't spend the rest of my years in high school ridiculed for everything I stand for, and standing for something that is a blatant lie. Now think about the future. Then what? I'd have to come out to the entire world as gay if we ever got married and then I'd have to continue to lie forever. I don't think anyone would buy the whole 'only exception' deal if it came to everyone thinking it was Kurt and I. And then the honeymoon... maybe Blaine can do it... but I don't think I ever can, Rachel. I'm sorry. I just...I can't."

Rachel exhaled and shivered. "I see your point," she said in a monotone. "I'm going to bed. I'll come back when Kurt and Blaine get here later. You've given me a...a lot to think about."

Finn couldn't muster the energy to stop her from going and instead sat on the couch and waited there for the hours until the other two arrived.

* * *

><p>And now he was in the bathroom, still thinking.<p>

Why was he so thick? He knew he was thick! He couldn't see past the outside face. It was an impossible task. It had to be! Blaine's hair gel must have been soaking into his brain and adhering his vision or something.

Finn's fist was suddenly making contact against the side of the mirror, into the blue tile. He shocked himself from the unexpected action, then the pain spread up this arm and he clutched it to his chest.

"_You okay?_" Rachel's voice called out.

"I'm fine...Kurt." he responded.

He walked out after blowing on his knuckles and the red had faded.

"Want to try another song?" Kurt asked, scrolling through Rachel's iPod.

"Sure," Rachel said, and sat on the edge of the the armchair. "Let's do one that I've done before. How about 'Run Joey Run?'"

"No!" Blaine and Finn said at the same time.

Kurt made a face at Rachel. "How about something more classic and...tolerable. 'My Man' sound good?"

"Nice choice."

The first few piano bars played out and then Rachel began to sing.

_Oh my man I love him so__  
><em>_He'll never know__  
><em>_All my life is just despair__  
><em>_But I don't care_

Blaine and Kurt smiled at each other. Kurt stood up and bowed to Blaine. "May I have this dance, sir?"

"Yes you may, handsome sir," Blaine responded in a corny fashion.

The two brought their bodies together and swayed to her slow tune.

_When he takes me in his arms__  
><em>_The world is bright, alright_

_What's the difference if I say__  
><em>_I'll go away__  
><em>_When I know I'll come back__  
><em>_On my knees someday__  
><em>_Oh whatever my man is__  
><em>_I am his forever more_

The dancing became a bit more intricate at the key change, Kurt leading. The drums came into the song along with heavier trumpets making the two spin around the other.

_Oh my man I love him so__  
><em>_He'll never know__  
><em>_All my life is just despair__  
><em>_But I don't care__  
><em>_When he takes me in his arms__  
><em>_The world is bright, alright_

Blaine tripped over Kurt's foot and they laughed, then grabbed each other again, barely swaying and mostly just holding each other. Slowly, their faces drifted towards the other, and their lips met in a slow, sensual kiss.

_What's the difference if I say__  
><em>_I'll go away_

Rachel tore her eyes away from Kurt and Blaine's moment, and fixated on Finn.

Suddenly he got it.

Time slowed for Finn as all of his arguments earlier about not being able to see past Kurt's face, and not being able to marry _her_, and not being able to make love to _her, _ vanished.

He didn't want to loose _her_.

_When I know I'll come back__  
><em>_On my knees someday_

He knew she'd always love him, and if he didn't keep her now, he'd make stupid mistakes in the future and then she'd be gone. She'd be onto bigger and better things.

_Oh whatever my man is  
><em>_I am his forever more_

The song was not about Rachel. The song was speaking to him.

It was about him.

He loved Rachel. He loved the girl who was leaning against the arm chair, singing her siren song, not the man who was dancing with his boyfriend.

And then he kissed her.

Rachel Berry.

* * *

><p><strong>NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE THE LAST CHAPTER! SQUEEEEEEEEEE!<strong>

**(yes, I did just watch Jim Cantiello's Glee-cap for 3x07 and it was hilarious)**

**Please review! It's almost over. ;_;**


	19. Celebrate

Finn cut Rachel's last note short when he connected their lips.

He sighed into her mouth and didn't flinch when he felt her slightly defined arms wrapping around his torso. His hand carded into her short hair and he pulled her even closer, knowing for a fact that it was Rachel.

All Rachel.

Kurt leaned against Blaine and they "awwed" together.

"Should I get the camera?" Blaine asked.

Kurt looked the couple up and down, pursing his lips. "Or maybe a crow-bar..."

Kurt wrinkled his nose at the way his body and Finn looked kissing. They really wouldn't ever be a cute couple, good thing he didn't pursue that.

Finn opened his mouth wider, eyes blinking open to look at the girl he loved and not perturbed in any way of the glasz irises staring back at him. They broke apart and rested their foreheads together.

It was Rachel's voice that broke the peaceful silence. "Now I see what you mean about it being weird watching your body get kissed," Kurt joked. "Especially since Finn looked like he was trying to eat you."

"Shut up, Kurt," Rachel said, totally sedated in her boyfriend's grasp.

Finn nuzzled his head even closer to hers and lifted her chin so that she was staring at him. "I love you Rachel Berry. I think you are beautiful and I want to be with you now and forever."

And then he kissed her very sweetly.

An odd wave seemed to become tangible in the room. Kurt looked at Blaine. "Blaine?" he gasped very faintly, and his vision became blurry. He fell into Blaine and would have crumpled to the ground if Blaine hadn't caught him and carefully guided him to the floor.

"Kurt?" he heard Blaine asked, but it sounded like he was talking from another room.

Meanwhile Finn was panicking as Rachel's eyes rolled to the back of her head and she turned into dead weight again. "Rachel? Rachel? Blaine! She's not breathing!"

"Neither is Kurt!" Blaine called back, patting at his boyfriend's face and trying everything not to have a panic-attack. "Kurt, breathe! You need to breathe for me, Kurt! Don't leave me," Blaine pleaded, voice cracking and tears already streaming down his face.

"Rachel, please. Please don't go! I love you! I love you so much."

"Kurt, I love you more than the world. You can't disappear now. Please, please don't," Blaine whispered into Kurt's ear.

Both bodies were totally still and insanely pale. Another 8 seconds passed and Finn said, "Start CPR. Do you know how to do that?"

"Yeah."

They began the counts, then blew into their lover's mouths. For a minute the only sounds in the room were of Blaine and Finn trying to save their love's lives.

Blaine's arms were shaking at the start of the 5th repetition after his lips left Kurt's disturbingly unresponsive ones. "Finn, I know we should stop...but I can't. I can't give up now because I know he's not giving up now. I know he's fighting. He has to be."

Finn was crying too now. "I know. I'm thinking the same thing. Rachel, I've just fallen in love with you all over again. Come back."

"Come back to me, Kurt."

Then they both held the bodies' noses and breathed into their mouth, both stealing a kiss in desperation.

_Come back to me_.

Another odd shock was released through the room and color flushed back into Rachel and Kurt's figures.

"Finn?" Kurt's voice said softly.

Finn cupped the back of the boy's neck and sighed, "Rachel..." then kissed his girlfriend again.

"Finn?" Kurt's voice said around Finn's mouth. "Finn, get off of me."

"Why? I love you so much-" He pulled Rachel into another kiss.

"Finn! You dumb neanderthal, get the fuck off of me so I can go kiss my boyfriend!"

"Kurt!" Finn said, jumping back.

"Kurt!" Blaine exclaimed.

"Bleh!" Finn screamed and wiped his tongue with the back of his hand.

Blaine and Kurt wound around each other until there was no way anything could ever pass between them because of their closeness. Their lips met roughly together in a heated kiss and Kurt's blunt finger nails dug through Blaine's shirt and into his skin, but neither cared. They just needed to feel the other's body for real again.

Rachel jumped into Finn's arms and he picked up her tiny figure, pressing their lips together as well and holding her against his chest.

For a few moments they were all silent, and then they collapsed on the couch together.

"You're not going to change again are you? I'm just happy that you're alive," Blaine said, holding Kurt's hand.

"No, this is a permanent switch," Kurt and Rachel said together.

"But how do you know?" Finn asked, pulling Rachel closer to his body.

Kurt and Rachel exchanged a look. Rachel nodded towards Kurt.

Kurt took a breath, then said, "During that switch...it was like all of life's questions were suddenly answered. Everything was so clear and obvious. We were both floating in this kind of empty, but calm state, like nothing could hurt us and we could stay there forever if we wanted to. Just happy. I wanted to stay at first, because I was away from the world, away from bullying and prejudice...

"So why didn't you stay?" Finn asked, totally engrossed.

"I didn't stay...because I wanted to go back to my dad and to Blaine." Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand. "Because I love you, and I knew you'd never give up on me."

A tear rolled down Blaine's cheek and he kissed Kurt quickly before letting him continue. Rachel nuzzled her head against Finn again.

"I feel like we knew all of life's answers when we were floating in that state, but the only ones I can remember are the ones that apply to us. It's like I just _know _some things now. Like that this switch was definitely final. I can feel it in my bones." He looked at Rachel pointedly.

She exhaled then finished Kurt's revelations for them, "And also of why this switch happened. First of all, this switch happened because secretly, Kurt and I weren't truly accepting of ourselves, or of each other. We had to learn to love our bodies again... and to fall in love again with the ones we care about. Also, we had to learn that he and I are a lot more similar that we thought and we had to come to terms with that fact. Kurt and I kept switching back and forth momentarily because the trigger was when we accepted ourselves and when we understood intimate things about one another-"

"But what made you switch back for good?" Finn egged.

Rachel smiled and bopped him on the nose. "I'm getting to that. We didn't switch back permanently until we had accepted ourselves, and our lovers had accepted us. Finn, you are the one that switched us back. You were the key, as were you, Blaine, but Finn working past his issues is what truly set us free. Because you realized that you loved me no matter what I looked like or what body I had, you broke this curse or spell or whatever the hell this 'Hummel to Berry' situation was caused by. Thank you, Finn."

They kissed and Finn looked her in the eyes. "I know you said this is permanent, but just so you know, if anything like this ever happens again, or if you're ever hurt, or sick or god forbid something awful happens to you, I'm going to stick with you forever. Okay? Being with you is the only thing I care about anymore."

Rachel blinked back tears and nodded, throat closing up from the emotion. They kissed again.

The couples sat on the couch together in happy silence for a few minutes until Blaine spoke to Kurt.

"So...wanna go loose your virginity again?" Blaine breathed against Kurt's neck, kissing and nipping down the pale skin there.

"Seriously guys? All you can think about it sex right now?" Rachel asked incredulously. "Shouldn't we be celebrating...together?"

Kurt leaned casually against Blaine. "Rachel, I've been stuck in your body for weeks. So yes, I do want to celebrate. I want to celebrate having my body back, and more importantly, celebrate getting my dick back and I think the best way to celebrate right now is with this guy," he said, gesturing to Blaine.

"I love you."

**The End.**

* * *

><p><strong>MY CREYZ! It's over! Please leave final reviews! I really hope you all enjoyed it and I was more than happy to share this tale with you all! I am beyond thankful for the massive amount of reviews I got from this silly story and I'm so glad that it was well received! Thank you for the advertisement of this story and be sure to follow me on Tumblr as either "humadahummel" (personal blog) or "pyrofrickenmaniac" (fan-fic writer blog). <strong>

**You are all so special and kind to me and be sure to look out for more of my stories in the near future! I love you guys! And have a great new year!**


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